#See you for the next Gwyn Week
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@gwynweekofficial Day 7 - Free Day
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Thank you @gwynweekofficial for organising this week. All the content has been amazing ❤️❤️❤️
As for this fic, I don't know if it's any good but @lulling-night-sky wanted smut, so I wrote smut 🤷 I tried. Plus Gwyn deserves to have some good time.
Synopsis: Gwyneth pleasures herself while wishing it was Azriel.
Word Count: 1.2k
Warning: NSFW!!!
Read on Ao3
He thrusted inside her and she gasped. Having him fully inside her was already starting to push her over the edge. When she opened her eyes again, he was looking down at her, his hazel green eyes full of unrestrained desire. The candles around the room turned his tanned creamy skin golden. He lifted a scarred hand to push aside a lock of copper black hair from her face. “You are exquisite,” he said with a raspy voice.
Then he slid his cock out slowly. “Azriel Eric”, she moaned when he pushed inside her again. Her hand moved to tangle in his dark blond hair and he groaned. The sound ignited something in her. Her other hand brushed his wing jaw and she kissed him. He took her hand and pinned it on top of her head before he started to fuck her – hard.
His tongue chased hers while his cock slid in and out of her wet core. She moaned his name over and over and over again. Azriel Eric Azriel Eric Azriel Eric. He responded to her pleas with his own. Gwyn Ana Gwyn Ana Gwyn Ana… Her breathing turned more ragged the closer he brought her to her orgasm. He fucked her hard and fast. The pressure building inside her was too much yet not enough. “Azriel Eric,” she almost screamed. And when he sucked hard on her breast, her back arched, her eyes closed and –
The book falls on Gwyn’s face and hit her nose so hard that all the heat that has build up inside her from the story vanishes instantly. Sighing, Gwyn sits up and looks around the room in disappointment. This is reality. She is not Ana of the Eastern Isle. And there is no General Eric fucking her senseless.
Gwyn isn’t interested in Eric anyway. There are some little things about him that bother her. One of them being that his eyes are green and not hazel. His skin tone also could be better. He would have been hotter is he had golden-brown skin instead. And short dark hair that would fall in front of his eyes sometimes. And scarred hands that would send shivers down his lover’s spine. And tattoos on his muscular chest and arms. And wings. Massive dark wings that would make him look like an angel of death.
OK fine. Eric would have been better if he was Azriel. What male wouldn’t want to be Azriel. For some time now, Gwyn has not been able to read a book without replacing the main male character with Azriel. And the main female character with herself. Gods forbid she pictures him having sex with someone else. Azriel is hers. In her dreams and fantasies at least.
If only it was real. If only he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. If only he was in her room right in this moment.
Tell me what you want , he would whisper in her ear. You, she would reply breathlessly. Gwyneth. Imagining her name coming from his lips makes her feel hot again. So much that she gets rid of her blanket, throwing it aside along with the book.
What do you want me to do to you? His voice fills her mind again. And Gwyn responds. Touch me. She caresses her neck with a hand, imagining that it is Azriel’s hand instead. When she grazes her collarbone and shoulder, Gwyn pushes aside the thin straps of her nightgown. She pulls them down enough to expose her breasts to the cool air of the room.
In her mind, she imagines Azriel lying on top of her, trailing kisses down her neck until he reaches her breasts. She cups one of her breasts, grabbing it as firmly as she would like Azriel to do it. She brings her other hand to her mouth and sucks on two fingers to wet them. Then she brings that hand to her other breast. Gwyn circles her nipple with her wet fingers, wishing that it was his tongue doing this. She thinks about Azriel sucking on her nipple as she pinches herself hard enough that she gasps.
If Azriel was here, he would rub himself against her and would find out how wet she is getting for him. She would feel how hard he is. She would reach down to grab his cock and he would groan in pleasure. Please.
Azriel would listen to her plea and align himself with her. Gwyn reaches a hand down between her legs and she imagines that it is Azriel’s cock there. She knows that nothing will compare to the feel of his cock against her wet centre. But she is desperate for anything.
Do you want me to fuck you Gwyneth? He asks her in her mind. Yes. Please.
Gwyn starts rubbing her clit, wishing that it was Azriel’s cock playing with her. With her other hand, she keeps groping her breasts and playing with her nipples like how she thinks he would do. Azriel, she breathes out into the empty room. But in her mind, he is there. His hands are pulling her legs apart and he is pushing his cock at her entrance.
Gwyn inserts a finger inside her pussy. Azriel would curse as he would push himself inside her. You feel so good, he would tell her. Just like now, she wouldn’t have the words to respond. She would just moan as he would slide deeper inside her. Gwyn inserts another finger inside and starts to fuck herself.
She imagines Azriel’s cock going in and out of her wet pussy while his hands would grab tight onto her waist and thigh. With his mouth he would kiss and bite her neck and he would suck on her hard nipples. She pushes her fingers as deep as she can and starts to rub her clit with her other hand. But it isn’t her hands that she pictures on her. All she can think about is his weight on her and his cock inside her. Azriel, she moans loudly. Gwyneth, he whispers in her mind. She spreads her legs wider as she imagines him pressing his whole body harder against her. Are you close, love?
Gwyn bites her lip and nod. Then come for me Gwyn. Those words are the fruit of her own imagination, but they are enough to make her shatter. She thinks about Azriel fucking her even harder and faster when he would feel her walls clenching around his cock. And when she imagines him coming inside her, her mouth opens on a silent gasp and Gwyn comes around her own fingers. Images of him flash behind her closed eyelids. His face, his hands, his wings spread out behind his perfectly sculpted body. The sound of his voice whispering her name and sweet nothings that she wishes she would someday hear from him echo in her head.
When she comes down from her peak after what feels like long minutes, Gwyn breathes like she has been suffocating. She refuses to open her eyes because she knows that no hazel eyes would be looking down at her lovingly. So she just lays there, with only her fantasies to hold her tight through the night.
#gwynweek2023#gwyneth berdara#gwynriel#azriel shadowsinger#See you for the next Gwyn Week#just kidding#I celebrate Gwyn all year long#Gwyn my love#my goddess
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Forget the growing Valkyrie/Illyrian conflict. I need to see some Valkyrie/IC conflict next book.
Rhysand's treatment of Nesta was so horrendous that it triggered memories of Ember's abuse at the hands of the Autumn King. And it was so awful that Ember stood up for Nesta and defended her from Rhysand. Keep in mind that Nesta was a social pariah at that point in time and Ember didn't know if she would be punished or executed, but she chose to stick up for Nesta anyways because Rhysand's treatment of Nesta was so triggering for Ember. Even after that, Ember asked if there was anything else she could do to take some of the blame off of Nesta.
Nesta can't continue to summarize her mistreatment as her getting into a fight with her family and disappearing for a week with Cassian. At some point Gwyn and Emerie are going to see Rhysand's treatment of Nesta for themselves and they're going to find out how often he threatens to kill her, and they're not going to be too happy about it. I'm sure it's going to trigger some memories for them, too (especially Emerie). And when they find out Nesta's not even safe around her own mate, who does absolutely nothing to protect her from Rhysand? I don't see any narrative where they don't call out Cassian, Rhys, and the IC for their BS.
I need Nessian to go the route of Elorcan in KoA. I need the Valks to, at least somewhat, turn against Cassian like the MC's turned against Lorcan in ToG. I need 600 pages of not knowing whether or not Nessian is going to be endgame. I need Nesta to consider rejecting the mating bond, and Cassian having to come to terms with how badly he failed her for her to seriously consider it. I need 600 pages of him groveling and worshipping the very ground she walks on. I need to hear Cassian say "I love you" to Nesta, as well as him having entire monologues where he just can't stop listing all the reasons he loves her. I need him to trust her and her decisions. I need 600 pages of him finally behaving like a mated male.
I need the Valkyries to help him understand that the IC is the biggest threat to Nesta. I need him and the Valks to shut down any insults the IC hurl Nesta's way. I need them to stick up for her, and defend and protect her. I need to see Cassian protect Nesta from Rhysand. I need to see him prioritize Nesta and her feelings. I need to see him treat her like the princess she is. I need him to romanticize the avid romance reader. I need him to cherish Nesta's heart, rather than rip it to shreds in his temper tantrums.
I need 600 pages of Cassian finally choosing Nesta over the IC.
#acotar#the valkyries#anti inner circle#antirhysand#nesta archeron#ember quinlan#cassian critical#gwyn berdara#emerie#acosf#valkyries#antirhys#pro nesta#nessian critical#gwyneth berdara#emerie of illyria#acotar 5#valkyrie#nesta#gwyn acotar#emerie acotar#crescent city#nesta acotar#pro gwyn#pro emerie#hofas#nesta acosf#gwyneth#hofas bonus chapter#nesta deserves better
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The Best I Ever Had
Based on this request.
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Pairing: Eris x Fem!Reader (Azriel’s ex)
Summary: Reader seeks revenge on her ex-boyfriend, and that revenge just so happens to take the form of a very willing Vanserra.
Warnings: Smut | Minors DNI | p in v | fingering | cervix brushing | no aftercare (not Eris) | angst (not Eris) | manipulation (not Eris)
7.6k words
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I've been dating the shadow singer for a little over a year now— but calling it dating seemed to be a stretch. It started with a few dates but inevitably it turned into a cycle of him telling me to come over, we'd hook up, then I'd leave in the morning. If he wasn't busy I'd stay for breakfast, but that was pretty much it.
Now I lay next to him, thoroughly fucked out and sweating. Azriel was a busy male but when he fucked, he fucked good. That fact made me feel selfish for wanting more than just being a casual hookup.
I sigh audibly, sitting up and slipping out of the bed, waddling into the bathroom to get myself cleaned up. That was another thing, once Azriel got what he wanted he was kind of done with me, so aftercare was absent and it made me feel like shit.
I huff as I wipe myself down with a warm rag, then splash water over my face and pat it dry with a soft towel.
I met the spymaster through Morrigan, I hadn't been particularly close to the inner circle but Mor was a good friend of mine, and of course, I could see the way he looked at her, admired her with a silent devotion. He has for years while I just watched in the background. Then the three Archeron sisters showed up and he began doing it to Feyre's sister Elain, or Nesta's friend Gwyn. But never me. Never looked at me that way. I was slowly realizing I was becoming a placeholder until something better fell into his lap.
I turn the faucet off and leave the bathing chamber, shuffling back to the bed, slightly defeated. I slide onto the mattress, my boyfriend already sounds asleep with his winged-back facing me. I yawn and decide I’ll voice my opinions tomorrow after a full night's rest, perhaps over breakfast, I could tell him how I feel.
With a plan in mind and enough exhaustion to make a pegasus pass out, I was able to find a light sleep.
The morning greeted me with an empty bed, Azriel's spot empty, and I doubted the male was downstairs making me breakfast. I grumble a curse as I flip the blankets off of me and get up. I simply glance at myself in the mirror and brush my hands through my hair before leaving his room in my nightgown, rubbing at my eyes as I descend the stairs and into the kitchen.
The clatter of a fork sounds and I turn to my left to see the silent shadow singer who had just finished eating. "You didn't want to wake me up?" I say, squinting at the male's silhouette framed by large windows of the morning light behind him. He shrugged in reply. "Figured you'd rather sleep," He murmured as he stood, collecting his dishes and walking towards me.
As he brushes past me towards the sink I remember the loose plan I had put together last night.
"I was thinking," I start. It was now or never. He turned his head to me slightly, signaling that he was listening while he placed his dishes in the basin. "We've been going out for about a year now, maybe we should do something special?" I offer and he turns to me fully, slight confusion creasing his brows. I didn't understand what was so puzzling about it.
"Like what? And when?" He asks, his tone making me feel like I was scheduling a business meeting. I roll my eyes and take a few steps closer. "I don't know, you're always busy," I sigh, making my annoyance clear. He bristles. Perhaps I shouldn't have said that.
"I just mean, would it kill you to take a break for a day?" I look up at him, my arms behind my back. I hated this. Hated the way he looked down at me as I begged him to just give me the slightest fraction of his attention. He blows out a long breath in contemplation. "I suppose I can take a day off in a couple of weeks," He utters like it's such a chore to leave work.
"A couple of weeks?" I balk with wide eyes and he shrugs again. "I'm not that flexible," He explains and my frown deepens. "Just the other day you took off to help Morrigan with writing letters to the continent," I argue. "That's, different," He said with a slight hesitance in his voice. "How so?" I cross my arms over my chest.
"Because that's Mor," He muttered and a pang of hurt bloomed in my chest. My lip quivered at the words but I maintained my composure. "Listen, I'm not trying to make you sad I'm just telling you the truth," He craned his neck, stretching it out like I was tiring him out with this conversation. "Which is?" My brows raise a fraction. He opens his mouth, then shuts it again, rethinking what he was about to say.
Instead of speaking at all, he leans in and presses a light kiss to my lips, his hands coming to the back of my neck as he slants his mouth over mine. There was no passion behind it, just a move to shut me up and I was a fool to fall for it.
He kisses down my jaw, making his way to my neck where his marks from last night were already fading. His other hand finds my thigh, pushing me up against the counter and hiking up my dress. "Az," I place a hand on his chest. "Az, I don't want to have sex," I murmur, pushing him away and he backs off, confusion in his eyes because that hack has worked every time before.
"I just, I wanted you to look at me the way you look at Elain, or Gwyn, or—" I start. "Don't be ridiculous," His hands come to my cheeks as he interrupts me. "I'm not with them now am I?" He tilts his head. "No, but, you would be as soon as they called," I reason and his gaze falters because he knows I'm right.
"Don't think like that," He shakes his head. Then presses his lips to mine again, his hand returning to my thigh. "Don't think," He whispers and that sets me off. I push him away harder, sending him stumbling a few feet back. He looks at me like I've gone insane. I'm sick of it, sick of feeling so compliant when he wanted me and when he didn't. I was easy to please, and he liked easy, but he loved a challenge more.
"If you're not going to even take the time to make your girlfriend feel like she means anything to you, then," My breath hitched and a stupid smirk came across his features when I didn't finish my sentence. "Then what?" He scoffs. "You're gonna break up with me? Then when you can't find a male who fucks you better than I can you'll come crawling right back, I know how you are," He crossed his arms over his chest and I hated it. Hated that he was right. Because he was such an arrogant asshole but he was handsome and knew how to pleasure a woman. Which was rare to find in the Night Court.
"No, I'm done this time," I stand my ground. "Don't be like this," He sighed at the dramatics of it, looking up to the ceiling like I was draining him. "You always do this," He shakes his head. "I'm serious," I bite out. "Yeah, sure you are," He scoffs, unbelieving of my words as he leaves the kitchen without another word.
I'm serious. I hated being treated like this. I have a long life ahead of me, I can find someone better, perhaps go to another Court where I won't be given such limited options.
I collect my things, forgetting about the rest of my clothes in Azriel's room as I shrug on my jacket, I looked ridiculous with the oversized leather jacket over my short nightgown but I was only going home.
I gave one last look at the house before slipping out and closing the door with a particularly hard slam, making sure he heard I proudly took my leave.
My pride didn't last long before tears began to stream down my face. It was foolish to be crying over my own decision but I couldn't help it. Leaving him meant leaving the entirety of the inner circle, and as close as Morrigan and I were, she'd choose Azriel without a second thought. I knew it, she knew it, and he definitely knew it. So now I was walking through the streets of Velaris teary-eyed, hands shaking as I attempted to wipe them away but inevitably I gave up and just let them run, let myself crumble into the dejection of it all.
I had a house in the hewn city, it wasn't a home necessarily but, it would make do for a few nights until I figured myself out. I muster all of my energy and source my power, before winnowing back to the Court of Nightmares. I sigh in relief to be home, a shock to myself since this is the last place I'd ever want to be. Yet here I was, in my shitty apartment with little to live for. I slump onto the couch and curl into a ball, then just allow myself to bawl and promise myself this is the last time I’ll ever cry over the shadow singer again.
It had been a week.
Azriel was right when he said I’d crawl back to him. This sort of thing happened often, we’d argue then I’d leave until eventually I got too lonely and find my way to his doorstep, he’d take me back and we would pretend to forget about what had happened until the cycle repeated, over, and over, and over again.
But I was done this time. I promised myself I was done and I’m sticking to it. A week was the longest I had gone without going back to him so I took myself to the flower shop down the street to treat myself to something as a reward. Flowers had always brought a smile to my face. Azriel never quite understood when I’d bring him to the gardens, he didn’t see the beauty of them, the way they all lived so harmoniously with each other. So he rarely went to the flower markets with me, it especially hurt when I found out Elain and him had visited the gardens more than—
I shook my head, voiding my thoughts of the spymaster and focusing on the beauty of the white dahlias in front of me. I picked up the bouquet and went to the clerk’s cart to pay. I had visited her whenever I was in the Hewn City, so it was nice to see the familiar face.
She smiles brightly when she sees me. “Just the dahlias for today?” She asks in a raspy tone and I nod. “Yes, but I’ll most likely be back tomorrow for those daffodils tomorrow,” I say, placing five marks down on the counter. “I’ll be looking forward to it,” She says, taking the bouquet from my hands and wrapping it in a burlap paper. “My tulips bloomed this morning, they should be in stock by the end of the week,” She hinted and I grinned at her memory of my favorite flower. “A pleasure as always, Moe,” I say as she hands me the wrapped bouquet.
“Have a good day!” She calls back and I wave at her from over my shoulder before walking down the cobblestones back towards my apartment.
It was a short walk, only around the corner, I had been a few yards away from my apartment yet somehow I still managed to clumsily ram right into a wall while staring down at the flowers— no, not a wall, a male who barely even faltered as I stumbled back. "Sorry, you alright?" Warm hands come to my shoulders, steadying me. I look up to see a familiar set of amber eyes, ones that could only belong to one Eris Vanserra. "Oh, it's you," He uttered but his voice didn’t carry any distaste, only simple curiosity in his gaze. "Are you okay?" The male asks and I was surprised at the concern of his voice.
I often ran into Eris, so much so that it had become sort of a thing between us. I had never loathed him like the others, I understood him better than the rest of the inner circle who had never tried to see more than just a monster. It was clear to me that he was nothing like his father, no matter how much he tried. So clear that it had been a shock to me when Rhys didn’t understand he was only wearing a mask, even when the High Lord had to do something similar while Under the Mountain.
"I'm fine," I shrug with a hurried motion, Eris was also good at reading me, leaving me terrified that he’d somehow see right through my feigned smile. "You sure?" One of his hands left my shoulders only to lift my chin, angling it up towards him. "Who's got a pretty girl like you crying?" He tilts his head, and I blanch. How was he so good at that? I pull away from his touch and avoid his piercing gaze.
"I'm fine," I repeat. "You're a terrible liar, sunshine," He intoned.
Sunshine. A nickname that was only used to remind me that I didn't belong in the Night Court, didn't belong with the Inner Circle at all. There was no place for the sunshine in a place that thrived in darkness.
"Where's that bastard of yours, I doubt he'd like you running around the Hewn City dressed like that," He gestures to my low-cut dress, my cardigan parted just enough to reveal any excessive, albeit impressive amount of cleavage. I press the flowers to my body and a smirk grows over his lips. "He wouldn't care," I grumble. "Really?" He tilts his head. I shrug. "We broke up last week," I don't know why I told him. Some undiscovered part of me has always trusted him, so much that my actions have often betrayed my own thoughts.
"Is that right?" A smile curves his features, nothing but amusement in his tone. "You could at least pretend to feel bad," I frown.
"Why? He lost something he didn't deserve, you gained the freedom to be with someone better. It's a win in both cases, for you at least," He justifies, and a small smile tugs at my lips. "There she is," He admires and maybe it was because I was looking for revenge, or maybe it was because Eris and I had always flirted, but I couldn't help but feel this magnetic pull to the male.
"Hey, do you want to come inside?" I offer, brushing past him and walking up the steps of my apartment, he blinks in shock, I was surprised with myself just as much but I didn't show it. "Just to talk, I'll open a bottle of wine?" I added and his cool demeanor returned.
"Why not," He hummed.
"You're telling me, he did all that— then didn't even provide aftercare?" Eris said in pure disbelief and I nodded with a sigh, thinking myself stupid for letting a male treat me so poorly.
I had spilled most details of my relationship with the Shadow singer to Eris, it may have been wrong to vent to one of the male's many enemies but I owed him nothing anymore, it wasn't like Eris could do much with the details of our relationship anyway.
We sat on my couch, too small for his large legs so I was positioned with my feet in his lap, not that I was complaining once he started tracing shapes on the tops of my knees mindlessly. Eris actually listened, it hadn't been something I hadn’t experienced in quite some time. This easy conversation that made me feel like he wanted to be a part of it. Perhaps it was the three glasses of wine or the glint in his eyes, but what he said next left my head reeling.
"I have a meeting with him today, maybe I should mention it," He hummed, his tone so casual I could hardly tell if he was being serious or not.
"It hurt," I mumble, unsure if I was referring to the sex itself or how he treated me. "It shouldn't," He replies with that damned look in his eyes, reassuring every part of my turmoil. "I know," I shrug.
He doesn't reply, his eyes linger on mine, something beneath that gaze that reminded me so much of how I used to look at Azriel, a certain yearning that I've known so well it was hard to mistake it for anything else.
But before he does something he'll regret, before he gets me attached his breath catches in his throat and he suddenly stands. I look up at him curiously with creased brows.
"Well thanks for the drink, sunshine," He says. I stand, following him to the door like some dog. Was I capable of honing independence for five seconds?
"I appreciate the gesture, but I don't need to be walked out," He gives me a crooked smile, and something foreign pangs in my chest, something I hadn't even felt with Azriel. "But, it was just," I struggle to find exactly what I wanted to say. "Never mind," I sigh, spinning on my heel, angling back to the couch but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back to face him. "It's okay, use your words," he eased and I swore I didn't imagine his thumb stroke on the back of my palm.
"I was just going to ask if you wanted to help me get back at the spymaster," I utter and his brow lifts a fraction. "Are you always plotting in that pretty head of yours?" He leans against the doorway, clearly interested. "You can say no if you want—" I start. "Tell me what I have to do," he sighs and a small smile curves my lips.
"How would you feel about faking a relationship, for the sole purpose of making him mad, nothing more I promise," I say. His brows raise and his hand leaves the knob of my front door. "Why don't I come with you, to the meeting?" I propose. A grin curves his lips. "Look at you scheming," He hums and I roll my eyes. "Who do you think I learned it from?" I smile and he returns it. "Go get cleaned up then, I'll wait," He leans against the closed door and I nod, spinning on my heel and walking down into the hall.
Faking a romance with Eris had been easier than I had thought. Our touches were casual, before the others had even arrived he had his arm slung around my shoulders as if he'd been at my side for the past century. Maybe this was all to get back at Azriel, but my hand on his abdomen didn't have to be there, and I didn't have to look up at him like he stole the breath from my very lungs but it was involuntary, something that couldn't be helped when around him.
He was regal, his features sharp and his words sharper. But more importantly, he actually looked at me, looked at me like I was anything worth importance and more than just a distraction. "You nervous?" He asks, his other arm coming around my waist as I turn to him fully. Everything was so natural, whatever this tether was between us rendered any awkward tension and allowed a casual intimacy.
"No," I shake my head and I meant it, I didn't feel scared with his arms around me, his warm hands splayed over my waist as if they were meant to be there. "You think we'll be convincing enough?" He tilts his head down at me. I peer up at him through my lashes, wrapping my arms around his neck— something about him made me feel so bold, so powerful, so content.
"You want to practice?" He offers with a smirk. "It couldn't hurt," I whisper, his mouth just inches from mine. "Unless you bite," I add and his smirk widened. "Only if you want me to," He shrugs. I grab him by the back of his neck and pull him down, his lips sealing over mine with a fervent force that was unknown to me, his hands mapped my body as he slowly pushed my back into a trunk of a tree, he was entirely addicted to the way I felt, the way I tasted. He was at my mercy and entirely satisfied with the fact.
I arch up into him and he kisses me deeper, pushing me harder into the tree as his tongue swiped over my bottom lip with a needy intent. I parted my lips just wide enough for his tongue to take control, worshipping my mouth like a temple and I could only let him, knew no better but to comply because I loved it, loved the attention, the feeling of him giving me his all while I met him halfway, giving and taking.
“Gods, are you done?” A familiar voice grumbles from the distance and I freeze, Eris’s lips slip from mine, and a broad smirk breaks across his features as he turns to face two winged men, revealing me in the process.
Their eyes weren’t on Eris like mine were, they were pinned directly on me. I smile softly as Eris possessively tightens his hold around my waist, fingers digging into my skin through the material of my dress.
Cassian and Azriel continued to gawk at me, the both of them held straight expressions but their eyes didn’t leave me once, brows twinged upward in both shock and concern, as if I was in any more danger with Eris than with Azriel.
“Are we going to get this over with or are you going to continue to stare?” Eris cut through their gazes and both their eyes snapped towards him. “What’s she doing here?” Azriel seethed, crossing his arms over his chest like he always did when he was infuriated. He was so easy to read for a spymaster. Eris seemed to have recognized this too, anyone angry had little control over what they said, making Eris gain the high ground.
“We can trust her, if that’s what you’re worried about,” The male beside me retorts. Azriel only ground his teeth in reply.
The meeting had started and they began talking about politics, to which I quickly tuned out. Azriel made a few digs at me but it was nothing but a toddler lashing out over not getting what he wants.
It was amusing to watch his cool demeanor deteriorate while Eris found every weakness and dissected it with insults and remarks, I just stared up at the red-haired male with an amused grin, my arms wrapping around his torso, occasionally pressing kisses to the top of his hand that had been slung around my shoulders.
I can remember kissing Azriel’s hands, the scars, it was one of our better moments. It was a low blow to do it to Eris too but it had happened without thought, like an instinct and it made Azriel absolutely feral.
Once the meeting was over Cassian was quick to grab Azriel’s arm and tell him to winnow before he could say anything he’d regret.
“Always a pleasure Cassian,” Eris smiled to the male. “Shadow singer,” He nods his head. “If you don’t mind I’d like to leave early, we have places to be,” Eris looks at me with a smile and I return it. “Yeah enjoy my sloppy seconds,” Azriel spat and I smirked. “You’re the one who told me to find someone who could fuck better than you,” I scoff. “Don’t be jealous because I did.”
“Jealous? Why would I be jealous when I had you before you started whoring yourself around—” He started. “Az,” Cassian warned, even his brother was upset at him. It felt good to make him hurt, felt like power. Eris looked like he was about to retort, looked angry, and angry meant having little control over what you say so I placed a hand on his abdomen and he clamped his mouth shut with a low growl. He knew this was my battle, knew it should go out on my terms. However, that didn’t stop his fingertips from singing with fire.
“It’s humiliating, honestly Az,” I tease. “Don’t call me that,” He bites but I ignore him. “First you lose Elain to Lucien, and now me to his brother?” I say like it’s something to study, a truly demeaning tone. It made him furious. “Maybe you’d be better off going for girls who don’t want you,” I shrug and the spymaster snarled, Cassian winced at the indirect mention of Morrigan. “Just a suggestion,” I shrug, then look to Eris, signaling that I’m finished.
“Excuse us,” Eris flashes them a smile as he slips his warm hand into my cold one. Eris doesn’t wait for them to reply before he winnows us away, back to my apartment.
“You’re a lot more cunning than you look, Sunshine,” Eris says, his hand leaving mine in favor of coming to my cheek as I peered up at him. “I wasn’t too mean, was I?” My brows crease in worry. I wanted to get back at Azriel, sure, but I wasn’t looking to break any alliances. “There’s the girl I know,” He uttered. “I didn’t mean to be impolite— I just,” I begin to ramble until he tilts my head up manually to face him, making me seal my lips shut at the wonder in his eyes, how he looked at me the way no one has before.
“You were perfect,” He reassured. “And watching you tear him apart was awfully attractive,” He smirked. “I did not tear him— what do you mean?” I snap my head up to look at him and he shrugs. “I’m just saying, I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t want to,” He shrugs. He wanted to?
“Do you, still want to?” I asked meekly with his hands on my cheeks and my heart pounding against my ribs so loud I was sure he could hear it.
“So shy,” He observes with a growing smile. “That’s okay, we can work on that,” He says like it’s a pressing issue, clearly excited to corrupt it out of me.
I rise onto my toes and crash my lips onto his, warmth blooming in the pit of my stomach at the sensation. My hands came to his jaw while he traveled down onto my waist, one finding purchase at my hip while the other came under my hip, tapping twice and indicating for me to jump. I wrap my legs tightly around his torso as he catches me.
My back bows as he leans into it, tilting my head to the side and opening my mouth for his tongue. We blindly stumbled down the hallway, he must’ve been guessing his steps because he was too busy with his lips on mine, too enamored with our kiss to ask which door was my bedroom.
He got lucky and opened the door to the master chamber, quickly closing the door behind him.
I didn’t want to waste another moment without his skin to mine, a moment without him inside of me, a moment without his hands in my hair— so I was grateful when my back met the mattress of my bed and he crawled over me, settling between my open legs, hovering above me with his hands on either side of my head.
We were both panting when he pulled away, need blazing in his eyes like a fire and I leaned closer to smother it, or get burned by it, I hadn’t decided yet.
His lips reconnected with mine and I was quick to reach for the buttons of his shirt, pulling him free from the fabric that strained against his muscular arms while he worked at the ties of my dress.
We were a tangle of limbs and needy pulls until eventually he thrashed my dress off and I unbuckled his pants. He breathed deeply as he pulled away, taking my bare body in, studying every curve and fill of my figure. Gods he looked like an animal with that glint in his eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” He confessed, head dipping into my neck and leaving sloppy love bites trailing from my jaw to my collarbone. “You imagined this?” I murmur, attempting to tease him but it came out all too soft and innocent. “Fuck, every night baby,” He admits and my cheeks flush.
He manages to get his pants off, freeing himself from the constraints of his boxers. I nearly gasped at the sight of him because, Mother, he was huge.
“Eris I don’t think I can,” I look down at his erect member with creased brows, afraid he might split me in half.
“I know baby, it’s okay, we’ll stretch you out first,” He reassured, placing a gentle kiss on my neck and I nodded, trusting him.
“You want my tongue or fingers?” He questions and his sultry gaze leaves me wanting his lips on mine. “Fingers,” I say, only because I favored his lips when they were kissing me. I’d have to see how good he was with his tongue at a different time.
He flashed an animalistic smile before leaning down and sealing his mouth over mine, tongue immediately finding its place swirling with mine, not a battle but a dance.
He practically rips my panties off, and then two of his fingers dive into my soaked folds, my arousal lubing his hand. He smiles at the feel of me, how wet I was over just a few kisses.
His thumb made contact with my clit and I arched, a soft moan slipping from the base of my throat and he caught it with his mouth. He smirks, his fingers beginning to circle over my pulsing entrance, I ached for him, for all of him.
“Eris,” I pleaded out and that was all he needed before he sent both of his long, wide fingers into my cunt. I gritted my teeth at the stretch, holding back moans as he began to curl them expertly inside of me, flicking over that sensitive spot with ease like he knew exactly where I wanted him.
“Fuck, so good at that,” I murmur incoherently, sweat lining my brow as he continues to pleasure me with his hand alone.
His thumb returned to that delicate bud, teasingly circling it with the perfect amount of pressure. My breathing becomes heavy as a symphony of moans is pulled from my chest. There was no way to explain the feeling in my abdomen, the feeling he caused. It was engrossing and hot, so fucking hot.
He was like a furnace above my body, absorbing all the heat from the room so he could possess it, burning over me.
“Eris, I can’t s’too much,” I whisper helplessly and his hand continues to work, continuing its relentless pleasure over my pussy.
“Be a good girl and cum on my hand, alright?” He instructs and I suck in a sharp breath, feeling that orgasm pick up then tumble over that fine line. My legs jolt as I find release, doing exactly as he said and reaching my high on his fingers alone. “That’s it, just like that,” He hummed, helping me down from my climax as he pulls his fingers from my stimulated cunt.
“You think you’re ready to take me Sunshine?” He tilts his head with a caring look in his eyes, if I didn’t know any better I’d think he was being mean, but his touches were gentle and his movements were slow, hinting that if I wasn’t ready he would stop and we could go to bed now.
“I want you inside Eris,” I confess. I wanted him more than just inside. I was ready to cut myself open and allow him to dissect me, analyze me. But I’d have to settle for this connection instead. “Please,” I beg, tears at the corners of my eyes from my earlier release and he nods. “Tap me twice if it’s too much alright?” He kisses my cheek with the intimacy of lovers who have been tangled in bedsheets for decades. “Okay,” I nod.
We watch as he aligns his heavy cock with my entrance, a pearl of his pre-cum budding at his red, angry tip. He swipes himself through my folds a few times, the weight of him alone enough to satisfy. He lathers himself in my arousal, then strokes himself once, twice, until finally, he pushes his head into my aching slit. He grunts at the tight feeling and I was unsure if I was pushing him out or sucking him in.
He moves deeper, going quicker as to get the most uncomfortable part for me over with. His movements remain gentle, my fingers intertwine into his deep, auburn hair. Whiskey-colored eyes stare down at me half-lidded and it only leaves my heat sopping wet.
I swallow my moans as he reaches halfway, then deeper. He brushes over that perfect, sensitive spot then somehow goes further. I hadn’t even known it was possible to be so fucking long because by the time he had sheathed himself entirely his tip lightly kissed my cervix.
I writhed beneath him as he began to pull in and out, thrusting his hips at a leisurely pace, feeling out what made me feel good and where he was when I moaned the most. He was specializing this entirely to me and how it made me feel.
“Faster,” I panted. “Fuck, Eris I want you feral,” I plead, the tears that had been threatening at my eyes now spilling onto my cheeks, down onto the mattress below my head. He followed my instruction, picking up his pace and beginning to piston himself into me with such a maddening force that the bed began to creak against the power.
He held me tight so I didn’t move up the bed with his movements, and the sounds, the wet, lewd sounds of his cock entering me over and over sent me into a moaning mess.
“Spread your legs,” He ordered. I did as he said, going as far as I could manage. “That’s it, wider baby,” He hummed and I let out a cry of pleasure as he brushed my cervix at his next thrust, breath leaving my lungs momentarily at the feeling. He smirks at the way I squeezed him tighter. He grabbed my thighs and forced my legs apart himself, folding me in half and bringing them up to my chest, holding me in a mating press.
I whimpered at the realization that I was completely vulnerable for him, laid entirely bare and I fucking loved every second of it.
A fire roared in the hearth, the warm light making his skin practically glow with the sheen of sweat on his chest. “You’re so tight,” He grunted out in between thrusts. “You feel so good wrapped around my cock.” My pussy pulsed at that, at the unapologetic force of his shaft as he rammed into me, the dirty words, the perfect sounds that filled the room.
Eris continues to push into me, faster this time, his speed outmatched and the look in his eyes, pure lust. He leans down and trails kisses from the side of my neck, taking in the expanse and leaving it with marks and saliva. He kisses to the back of my ear, his soft whimpers inaudible if he was any farther sent me reeling, gods he whined every time he drove into me and I loved every fucking moment of it.
“All mine,” He purrs at the shell of my ear, his breath fanning over my jaw. “All yours,” I reply and he twitches at the devoting words. “No one else can fuck you this good, isn’t that right?” He hums and I mewl— because he was right, he sent me to planets of pleasure, the emotion behind each of his thrusts left me convulsing.
“Mhm,” I nod. “Best I ever had, Eris,” I pant and he smiles, nipping at my earlobe before returning his attention to rolling his hips over mine, his balls slapping against my ass as my slick drips onto my thighs.
He continues to push into me, every injection harder and deeper than the last leaving me to spiral beneath him. His base rubbed against my clit and that had been my breaking point. “Eris, I’m gonna—” I couldn’t even get the words out. “I know, me too baby go ahead,” He allowed and with his next thrust hitting my cervix I found that sweet ecstasy and it was more than just a wave of pleasure it was a tsunami, crashing down onto me with a force I thought I’d never recover from. I felt full, complete.
He followed soon after, his release pumping into me and painting my walls white, and gods he was so close to my womb I could feel his warm seed seep into my cervix while I milked his cock dry.
I pant and my legs jolt as he guides them away from my chest and slowly pulls himself from my throbbing cunt, still squeezing him in despite just experiencing the best orgasm of my life.
He flipped over onto the pillow beside me. Our pants filled the room as the fire dwindled into ash and we were left in the darkness, with nothing but the company of each other.
We lay there for only a moment before Eris left my side on the bed, pulling his boxers back up. I assume he’s going to leave now that whatever transaction this was is over, and even if I felt my heart crumbling to pieces I’d let him go. We didn’t owe each other anything, there was no reason for him to stay anymore, even if I wanted him to.
I ignored the noises of clothes ruffling and drawers opening, closing my eyes and waiting for him to leave until I got up to clean myself.
That was until warm arms came beneath my back and thighs, hoisting me up into his arms bridal style.
“What are you doing?” My brows crease, arms wrapping around his neck involuntarily. “I’m getting you cleaned up,” He explains with such a casual smile it makes my heart beat twice as fast.
He led me into the bathroom and placed me on the cool counter, the apex of my thighs aching with an already developing soreness. “Why don’t you tell me about your day?” He offers, finding a rag beneath the sink and wetting it with warm water. “You were with me for most of my day,” I mumble and he smiles at the fact. “Tell me about before, talk to me,” He says and an odd feeling begins to spread in my chest, the kind that made my cheeks flush and my head spin.
So I did. I told him about my day, how I went to the flower market and ran into a familiar face, how I invited him in for wine and it managed to end in the best sex of my life.
I also told him about how I felt when I was getting my revenge on Azriel. Told him that it made me feel powerful, but also that I was satisfied where it ended and I wasn’t interested in associating with him at all any longer.
I told stories, topics varying in length until I was sure I had been talking his ear off— but he was listening, chiming in now and then, signaling that he was still tuned in to whatever I had to say. It was healing to talk about all of this while he cared for me, his touches gentle and his calloused fingers warm. He healed internal scars with those hands.
When I cleaned myself up I wiped myself down and then changed into a nightgown before getting into bed. He took his chance to go above and beyond, he even offered a bath but I told him I was tired so he only wiped me down in touches so featherlight I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t been staring at him in the low lighting the entire time.
He brushed through my hair and made sure I was okay and safe. I had realized he was so gentle with me because of the way his father had treated women in the past, his mother in particular. Becoming a male like that seemed to be Eris’ greatest fear, which made clear why he was so soft with me. And perhaps it was also because I deserved the kindness.
“This one?” He held up my softest nightgown and I nodded, putting my arms up so he could slip it over my head. He grinned as I adjusted the dress down past my head, leaving my hair in my face, making me grin wildly. He reached out and brushed it behind my ears.
“I love that smile,” He hums and my cheeks burn with a blush. He then leans in and presses a loving kiss to my lips. I had never experienced anything quite like it and now I never wanted anything else. He pulled away, analyzing my features beneath the dim light, and if I wasn’t red from his earlier comment I definitely was now.
“Alright, let’s get you into bed,” He reached beneath my thighs and hoisted me up into his arms, carrying me back into my room and then laying me down on the soft mattress.
I sigh contentedly as he slips into the bed beside me. “Can you hold me,” I whisper, feeling confident enough around him to ask such a thing. “Was planning on it,” He smirks, wrapping his arm around my torso, and pulling me right into his chest.
I smirk excitedly, slinging my leg over his torso and wrapping my arms around the back of his neck. “I thought you were tired?” He murmured as I pecked all over his face in lazy kisses. “I don’t want to waste this,” I confess and his gaze softens. “I’ll be here in the morning,” He reassured and I swallowed thickly. “Promise?” I murmur and he nods, pressing a hard kiss on my forehead. “I promise, sunshine.” And those words sent me into the first peaceful slumber I’ve had in a while.
Eris had not been in the bed next to me when I awoke. A sense of hurt and betrayal ran through me at the sight of the empty bed. I audibly groaned in defeat, muttering curses into my pillow because last night had left me so hopeful, but I suppose what’s easy in the evening is a drag by morning.
I huff and slip from my covers, adjusting the straps of my nightgown and leaving my bedroom with small, waddling steps due to my horribly sore legs.
I continued my slow, depressing trudge until I made it into the kitchen and froze at the sight of Eris leaning over the stove, making breakfast.
“You’re going to get burned cooking shirtless,” I warn, ignoring the visible release of tension in my shoulders. Because he held up his promise, even better, he’s making me food. He whirls around to face me with a small smile. “I won’t get burned,” He scoffs, holding his hand out to the fire of the stove, the flames growing then reaching towards him and forming into a ball in his palm.
I marveled and walked closer, staring straight into the flickering ball of heat, dangerously close. “You won’t either,” He says, uncurling his fingers and allowing the fire to stretch into a line of flames leading from me to him. My breath hitched as the flame came into contact with my skin but it didn’t burn, in fact, it barely even tickles. The serpent of fire twines around my wrist, dancing along my skin and I smile, looking up at him excitedly like I was the one controlling it.
“See? You’re safe,” He says then retracts the flames and feeds them back into the fire at the stove. Safe. That was the feeling that’s been filling that pit in my stomach.
“Now, you hungry?” He tilts his head and I look up at him in wonder, why was I ever settling for less when I could have everything I ever wanted with him?
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips hard onto his, attempting to show my gratitude through the action, my chest pressing to his as his arms came around me, heating my frame as I exposed my fragile heart to him and he returned the movement with the same tenderness. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He mumbled against my mouth, making me smile giddily up at him.
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#suriels tea#acotar#fanfic#a court of thorns and roses#sarah j maas#x reader#request#acomaf#eris x y/n#eris x you#eris acotar#eris x reader#eris vanserra#acotar smut#x you smut#x reader smut#smut#x you fluff#acotar fluff#x reader fluff#fluff#slight angst#angst with a happy ending#light angst#x reader acotar#azriel angst#morrigan#azriel#cassian#rhysand
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Azriel and his competitive nature...
"Right,” Cassian panted through gritted teeth as he blocked Az’s kick and bounced a step back, circling again. “Whoever lands the next blow wins.” “That’s ridiculous,” Az panted back. “We go until one of us eats dirt.” Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way Cassian knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel and utterly lethal.
Gwyn and her intense competitive nature....
The three of them made it to the third stage only once in the next two weeks. Roslin, Ananke, and Deirdre were close on their heels, propelling Gwyn to push her group harder. She wanted to be the first. Wanted Nesta and Emerie and her to be the ones who wiped the smirks from Azriel’s and Cassian’s faces. Especially Azriel’s.
Now, the two with each other ...
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Artist Jinrozenrot Commissioned by The_Valkyries_trove.
Gwyn asked Az, her teal eyes bright, “What do we get if we finish the course?” Az’s shadows danced around him. “Since there’s no chance in hell any of you will finish the course, we didn’t bother to get a prize.” Boos sounded. Gwyn lifted her chin in challenge. “We look forward to proving you wrong.”
.
.
Gwyn threw Azriel a withering stare as she strode past him. “See you tomorrow, Shadowsinger,” she tossed over a shoulder.
The way these two tick off every box SJM likes having in her couples ... their competitive nature and associated banter ... Chef's kiss
#gwynriel#gwyneth berdara#pro gwynriel#gwyn acosf#acotar#azriel shadowsinger#gwyn x azriel#azriel#post acosf#acosf theory
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Take a look at my girlfriend
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Pairing: Nesta x reader | WC: 4k | warnings: smut, drinking, oral (f!receiving and giving)
Summary: Based on this request - Nesta runs into Cassian post break-up, accidentally calling you her girlfriend, leading to a night of confusion and revelations
Author’s note: this is for @sjmromanceweek !!! Happy first kiss (and more!). Also I’m retconning Nesta being sober just for her to be hot and tipsy okay she deserves it
Rita’s was packed tonight - the entire city of Velaris was in the club it seemed, nonstop ordering drinks.
It was the first warm day in ages - warm enough for fae to bask in the sunlight during the day, but the nights were still cold enough to need a coat.
Or, it seemed, enough alcohol to keep you warm on the walk home.
Nesta was four drinks in, her cheeks dusted with a light pink from the heat and the alcohol. She moved through the crowd, back to the table the two of you occupied with Gwyn and Emerie, a drink in each hand.
She moved through the fae quite easily, her tall frame easily navigating the crowd. She slid back into the booth next to you, pressing a little closer to you then necessary.
If she was asked, she would say the crowd pushed her a bit harder than she expected. But really the alcohol in her system just made her hold back less when it came to you.
“Thank you, thank you!” You pressed your lips to Nesta’s cheek in thanks, taking your drink from her. “I was too ambitious with these shoes - I’d never make it that far.” You giggled, leaning into her side as she settled in next to you. You looked past Nesta, looking at the crowd of people drunkenly dancing, and Nesta was grateful your attention was away from her warm cheeks.
Nesta turned to face Emerie and Gwyn, the two friends making kissing faces at Nesta when you weren’t looking. She rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics, the two of them desperate for Nesta to make a move on you.
“She likes you, Nesta.”
Nesta had pushed past Gwyn, trying to avoid having this conversation again. Gwyn shot out a hand, stopping Nesta.
“The sooner you admit it to yourself, the happier you’ll be.”
For weeks now, her two best friends had done little else except reenact the conversations between you and Nesta, with overzealous touches and giggles galore.
Nesta missed not having friends.
She looked away, avoiding their antics, when a large body in the crowd caught her eye.
Cassian.
His red siphons glowed faintly, one on each wrist glowing in the low light of Rita’s. Nesta ducked her head, hopeful to avoid the encounter, but it was too late. You prodded her side with your elbow, pointing her to Cassian’s wave across the bar.
“Go say hi.”
You nudged her out of the seat, and before she could comprehend, she was walking across the floor of Rita’s, her shoes sticking slightly to the floor with each step before stopping in front of Cassian.
He looked genuinely happy to see her, but Nesta knew that was just the kind of male Cassian was.
Cassian looked behind Nesta, seeing you at the booth talking to Emerie and Gwyn. He smiled, glad that Nesta hadn’t used the breakup as an excuse to hide away from her friends.
The breakup had been mostly amicable. A series of hookups had led to them dating for almost a year before realizing they weren’t that well-suited once they tried to live together.
Nesta hadn’t minded him when they saw each other a few times a week, but their lifestyles were too incompatible for cohabitation. Nesta preferred quiet mornings so she could ride her Peloton, whereas Cassian woke up ready to chirp about anything and everything. Nesta preferred nightly baths to unwind from her workday, whereas Cassian preferred time together to unwind. Reason after reason piled up, causing resentment to build until eventually they just couldn’t make it work.
She had been sad - she knew it was coming, but it didn’t hurt any less. She hadn’t seen him around much these past few months, having heard from Emerie that he was seeing someone new.
That tidbit hadn’t made her upset, but standing before him, the need to feel some kind of win over him took control of her mind, the stress of the last few weeks culminating in the biggest lie of Nesta’s life.
“She’s my girlfriend.”
The words came tumbling out of Nesta’s mouth before her brain could register them. The alcohol flowing through her caused her to not even realize she hadn’t actually said hi to him.
Cassian’s eyebrows raised, nodding softly. “Uh, okay. Yeah, I can see that.” Nesta’s brain was short-circuiting at his words, unable to take in Cassian’s nonchalance at her lie.
“I didn’t even tell you who I was talking about.”
If Cassian noticed the edge to Nesta’s voice, he didn’t let on.
“I always figured she had a crush on you. You two make sense.”
Nesta balked, “me?” This was a very convincing lie, she was sure of it. She quickly straightened her spine, adopting an air of confidence. “It’s just - new. She never told me she’s had a thing for me for that long.”
Her eyes met yours across the bar, your enthusiastic wave at her sending butterflies through her stomach.
“‘Course she did. I went drinking with her one night and she told me how lucky I was because you were..” He scratched his head as he trailed off, looking for the exact words you had used. “A sexy bitch who could step on her’ or something like that.”
Cassian took a sip from his drink, “glad to see you’re doing well.” He reached his arm out, wrapping his hand around Nesta’s bicep. “Especially glad to see you still work out! You look great, Nes.”
Cassian’s smile never faltered as he walked away, and Nesta could make out the top of Rhys’s head from the direction Cassian was headed.
He seemed chipper. And sober.
Meaning he’d likely be here for the rest of the night.
Nesta slunk back to the booth as you moved to make room for her, but she reached out a hand and grabbed your wrist.
“Can we talk somewhere private?”
Emerie and Gwyn sipped their drinks quietly, giggling to each other. When Nesta looked at the pair, they made kissy faces at her as you maneuvered out of the booth, ignoring the middle finger Nesta sent to them behind your back.
“Is everything okay?”
The look of concern etched on your face made Nesta want to kiss the space between your brows. Your voice hushed as you asked, “did Cassian say something?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I- um.. I told him something.” You stared at her, your balance wobbly as she looked at you.
Shit. Nesta felt immediately bad about this idea. You were already drunk, having pregamed with a few shots of tequila with one of your friends before meeting up for girl’s night. Nesta looked down at her feet, ashamed of her silly lie.
“I told him we were dating. It just kinda slipped out, but I think he’s staying here so would you- could be my girlfriend for the night?”
Your mouth parted in an ‘o’ shape, and Nesta could tell your brain was trying very hard to figure out what she was saying.
“We’re dating tonight?” You laughed, and Nesta’s heart sank at the sound. “I had no idea, this is great!”
“Really?” Nesta asked, not trying to mask the hopeful tone of her voice.
“Yeah!”
Before Nesta could do anything, you grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her down to your mouth. Nesta melted into the kiss, the way you pressed against her, blocking out the whoops and hollers from her friends.
Your hands settled on her hips as she held onto your neck, your tongue swiping into her mouth in a way that had heat pooling in her core.
The places that tongue could go.
The kiss was all consuming, every hesitation Nesta had ever felt around you fell off like clothes at the end of the day. Another thing she wanted to see come true - you in her apartment, clothes slowly falling off. She didn’t really care what happened or where so long as you kept your mouth on hers.
A cough disrupted the two of you, but you didn’t jolt from Nesta’s arms. You pulled your lips away, Nesta’s own lips following after you. She was certain she’d hear about that from Gwyn and Emerie later.
Your head tucked itself into Nesta’s neck, giving off a bashful look to whoever disrupted you. As Nesta offered a withering stare to whoever interrupted, she only found a bored male watching the two of you. You grew bored very quickly and began nipping at her neck, your teeth unsatisfied with how pale her skin was.
“You’re in the way.” Nesta’s stare deflated, her arm circling your waist to move you as the fae sidestepped the pair of you. She pulled you with her, back to the booth her friends were in, their faces were smug as they watched the two of you the rest of the night. Drink after drink, you didn’t let Nesta go, always touching some part of her. Every so often your hands would travel up her thighs, first just sitting there, until they began wandering further and further up.
Nesta’s breaking point had been when your hand dipped below the fabric of her dress, getting close to her underwear. She had to have some semblance of self control, otherwise she would let your fingers glide inside of her right here in front of everyone.
“We should get out of here, go to sleep.” Nesta stood quickly, nearly knocking the table of drinks over. She said a quick goodbye to your friends as she ushered you to the door.
“I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend.” Your shouts over the music gave Nesta pause before she grabbed your wrist, pulling you through the bar until the cold night air hit you both. She hadn’t realized how stifling the club was until now, the cool air a much needed balm to her skin.
You continued your clinginess, hands and arms desperate to touch every inch of Nesta as she tried to walk the two of you down the block that separated Rita’s and her apartment. It was every late night fantasy come true, but filled with an extra layer of annoyance.
“Stop it.” Her tone was harsher than she was going for, an admonishment while trying to get her keys into her door lock. She felt proud as the door swung open, safely getting the two of you back to her apartment.
All pride deflated once she turned and saw the look on your face. Your face resembled that of a kicked puppy - wobbly lip, big, sad eyes. You were half turned away from her before she ran a hand down your arm, leading you inside.
“What’s wrong?” She shut the door behind you, guiding you to her couch before sitting down next to her.
“Do you not like me?”
It felt like a punch to Nesta’s stomach. Before she could explain, you were blabbering again, the words falling from your tongue too fast to stop.
“Because I thought- I thought you did and Gwyn was helping me. She got you that romance book with the females to see how you felt about it.”
Nesta wasn’t entirely certain what to make of Gwyn’s recommendation at the time, assuming it was her form of teasing Nesta for her little crush on you and how the cover had two women who resembled you and Nesta. She didn’t want to hear Gwyn gloat about how quickly Nesta read the story, or how it gave her new things to think about when she was alone at night.
And how she’d reread certain scenes over and over again, imagining the two of you in place of the main characters.
“I do like you.” The words were hard for Nesta to get out - you had been looking up at her the same way you had looked at the paintings at the art gallery you two went to a few weeks ago and Nesta couldn’t take it. “A lot.”
Your squeal caused her to pull back from you, the sound a surprise to her ears. The space she had created between you two was enough for you to move your hands around Nesta’s hips, pulling her toward you before placing sloppy kisses on her neck. Nesta short-circuited at the feeling of your lips on her collarbones and she quickly grabbed your face as she felt your mouth moving lower over her sternum.
“Sweetheart, you’re drunk.”
“But you like me and you told Cassian you’re my hot girlfriend.”
Nesta’s knees buckled at how unwavering your voice was.
Hot girlfriend.
“Now’s not the time, pet.” Your hands wandered her body, leaving goosebumps as your eyes and hands focused on her breasts. Your fingers lightly pinched her nipples, causing Nesta to gasp lightly.
“I can be your little pet, just tell me how to please you, Nes.”
Your words were accented with you pushing your face directly into Nesta’s chest, kissing all of the exposed skin you could find. Her fingers threaded your hair momentarily before pulling your head back.
If Nesta had known how horny you got when you drank, she would have taken you out for drinks much sooner than she did.
“Sweetheart, let’s go to bed.”
Your eyes lit up at her words and she practically choked on the sweet aroma of your arousal.
“Not like that - let’s just cuddle for tonight, okay?”
You nodded enthusiastically, and before Nesta could blink you had your dress slid off, the fabric now lying in a pool on the floor. You had bent over to undo the clasps on your heels, nearly falling over before Nesta set you on the bed, kneeling down to take off your heels for you.
She made the mistake of looking up, seeing you in nothing but your underwear, the scent of your arousal finding her nose once more.
Mothers tits, were you making this difficult on her.
She got your shoes off before standing up, and you watched with wide eyes as she pulled her top off before undoing the ties on her pants, pulling them down over her muscular thighs.
You were practically drooling at her toned body, and as Nesta turned to find a nightgown, you grabbed her hand, quickly pulling her to you. She looked surprised as you wrapped your arms around her, slowly trying to wrap your legs around her too.
“No, Nes. Why cover up such a beautiful body?” Your words were hard to discern as you had gotten preoccupied with her breasts halfway through, but Nesta could fill in the gaps where your words were muffled.
“Because I can’t go about naked.”
“Why not? Who would complain?”
Your tongue began swirling her nipple through her bra, the lace fabric doing very little to protect her from you. She gasped as you nibbled and sucked on her nipple, hands rubbing her breasts, a deep desire for more.
“I would, because all of this is just for you, pet.”
She wanted to laugh as you squealed at her flirting before pulling her down on the bed, flipping the two of you so you were on top.
“So I am your little pet!”
Your squeals of delight were amusing to Nesta, until you settled your hips on her stomach and she could feel just how wet you were.
For her.
She swallowed hard as you kept kissing her neck, the alcohol still moving through Nesta’s system to leave her just lucid enough to know she had to stop this.
“I have something very important for you to do.”
You pulled your hands back, sitting up to look at Nesta, her hair splayed out on the pillows like a crown.
“Anything for you, Nes.”
Nesta’s brows shot up, her drunken mind filing that away for later.
“I want you to lay right here and go to sleep.”
She watched as your brain stopped working.
“But I wanna please you.”
With your words, you rubbed against her, the scent of your arousal making her head spin. Her fingers twitched, wanting nothing more than to push past your panties and feel just how truly wet you were.
“And I want you to lay right on top of this bed and go to sleep.”
You leaned forward with a sigh, your head fitting into the crook of Nesta’s neck. Nesta could feel the vibrations from your groaning.
But you listened to her. You didn’t say anything, your breaths deepening until Nesta was certain you were asleep.
Nesta laid awake that night, your body weight both a sense of comfort and a source of extreme anxiety. You were half naked on top of her, for cauldron’s sake. You slept soundly through the night, tiny snores eventually lulling Nesta into a peaceful sleep.
-
You woke up the next morning, pulling the comforter higher over your head as the sunlight peaked in through your windows. You groaned, nuzzling deeper into your pillow, stopping when you realized it was someone’s chest you were snuggling into.
You opened your eyes, a big, beautiful breast covered by the delicate lace of a purple bra filling your eyeline. Before looking up at whoever’s bed you had stumbled into, you took stock of your position.
Underwear on, your leg was propped up on their hip, arms around their torso.
You definitely had been sleep cuddling.
You slowly turn your head, finding Nesta sleeping peacefully underneath you.
“Good morning, pet.”
Well, you thought she had been sleeping. The previous night was hazy, the taste of alcohol filling your mouth at her words. Things were confusing, having a dream like haze to them.
“Morning Nesta.”
You laid frozen on top of her, wanting the shame of the previous night to keep you weighed down. What was a dream and what was reality? Had you spent the evening making out with Nesta? Did you take a shot off her breasts?
You groaned, holding your head in your hands. Realization hit you, your head whipping too fast, a wave of nausea hitting.
“You called me pet.”
“You said you’d just love to be my little pet, doing whatever I wanted of you.” Her words were slow and mocking, drowned out by your groans.
“I don’t know what I was saying, obviously.”
Her hand crept up your side, fingers slowly gliding over your waist. The motion made you shiver, and Nesta laughed at it.
“So you were lying when you said you wanted to be my girlfriend, wanted me naked?”
Nesta’s hands kept exploring, now cupping your breasts.
“No.”
She slowly crawled on top of you, her hips settling on top of yours.
“So what is it? Do you want me? Or no?”
You nodded. “Yes, I want you.”
That’s all it took for Nesta to flip the two of you as her lips met yours, her hips grinding down onto your stomach. It was slower than the kisses from last night - more tender, more deliberate.
The smell of her was everywhere - in the sheets, the room, off of her. You wanted to die in this moment, certain it couldn’t get better.
Until Nesta’s fingers snapped the band of your underwear, the zing on your skin slightly painful.
“Do I have to ply you with alcohol to get you naked again? Or are you going to take your underwear off?” You moaned at her words, enjoying this more dominant side to her. You quickly shimmied off your underwear and bra, throwing them off to the side. Nesta pulled back, her eyes wandering the slopes and planes of your body in appreciation.
Nesta’s fingers began closing in on your breasts, pinching and teasing that made your back arch.
“Beautiful creature.”
Something took over you, some drunken braziness left behind. You held onto Nesta, flipping the two of you over so you were straddling her now. You shimmied down her body, your head resting on one of her thighs. Your fingers trailed up her thighs, lazily drawing patterns on her panty line.
“Nes, it’s not fair how pretty you are when you first wake up. Or how good you smell.” You nosed at her covered cunt, lightly sticking your tongue out. One of her legs hooked around your head, keeping you in place. Your tongue brushed over the fabric, a soft moan coming from above you.
Your mouth hovered directly over her cunt, the fabric the only thing separating you.
“Can I have a taste? It’s only fair. You denied me last night.”
“That’s because you were drunk.”
“So were you.” Your words were mumbled and Nesta felt the vibrations straight to her core. She needed you to just slide the fabric over an inch.
Her hips began grinding on your face in anticipation.
“Yes, but you’re quite a horny drunk.”
You pressed your nose into her, slowly gliding up and down, enjoying her reactions.
“No, I have less inhibitions when I’m drunk. I’m just more honest.”
Nesta hummed, only half listening as your nose continued its movements, hitting just the right spot.
“The last time we went to Rita’s and you couldn’t make it, Emerie and Gwyn got me drunk so they could question me about you.”
Trying to string together a thought was difficult as your fingers played with her waistband. She had you exactly where she wanted, where she thought about you being for months.
“That was ages ago.”
“And?”
“You never said anything.”
It was quiet as you laid still, your position so tantalizing to Nesta.
“Please. Touch me. Please.” It was all the confirmation you needed before sliding her underwear over and diving your tongue through her wet folds. Nesta fisted the sheets, the pleasure coursing through her body immeasurable. Time seemed to stop as you continued exploring, changing speed, your tongue’s direction, anything to keep her on edge. She tasted divine, nearly getting lost in your head at some deep need to pleasure her.
“Can I touch you?” Nesta’s question was quiet, a shyness you hadn’t expected from her.
You removed your head from her, your tongue slowly crept up her stomach, pressing kisses all over her.
“Of course.” You flipped your body around, legs now straddling Nesta’s face, your face right back at her core. You dropped your hips onto her face, laughing as she bucked her hips up into your mouth at the action.
“Do you like that?” You did it once more, slowly grinding your hips across her face. Your fingers moved through her folds, your head held up just enough to talk. “Or would you prefer to explore on your own?”
Nesta’s hands wrapped around your thighs, bringing you down to her. Her tongue glided across you, nearly making your own movements stop. She was hesitant at first, testing the waters.
Then she dove in, her tongue moving so quickly and expertly you nearly forgot where you were.
She was a fast and eager learner.
“It tastes better than I imagined.”
Nesta’s words were almost your undoing, her words just as delightful as her tongue. All you could do was reciprocate, trying to match every movement of her tongue with your own. She moaned into your core, heat pooling in your gut.
“Come on, Nesta. Cum for me. Want to taste it.”
You pushed your hips down, nearly suffocating her, the action pushing Nesta over that precipice.
She continued working on you, her fingers circling your clit sending you spiraling over the edge. You collapsed on her, knees giving out to bliss as you tried to catch your breath.
The two of you laid there, motionless, breathing deeply. Eventually you peeled yourself off of her, slowly crawling back up to her. Your arms wrapped around her, delighting in what this means for the two of you. You began stroking her hair, lightly shushing her as she came down from her high.
“Wow.”
You chuckled, kissing her forehead. Breathing and thinking were laborious, but it felt so easy to lay in Nesta’s arms.
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#nesta archeron x reader#nesta archeron#acotar fanfiction#nesta smut#nesta x reader#nesta archeron x y/n#nesta x y/n#nesta archeron x you#nesta x you#nesta x reader smut#sjmromanceweek2025
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Hi pookie,
Can u plz make a fic with nessian where reader is hurt or injured and nessian is all protective and cute
Thanks love ya😜
Bruises and Tears
Nessian x reader
Warnings: mentions of injuries
Nesta knew you shouldn’t have gone with Cassian on that mission. That mission was too much for your first one. She was also pissed at Rhys for not sending her with you two. Nesta wanted to be there for your first.
Coming back from the Day Court with the Valkyries, Nesta knew something was wrong. Cassian had his side of the bond shut and yours was just still, which made Nesta uneasy.
Gwyn and Em trailed their best friend through the River House as she frantically raced to where you lay. They had tried to calm her down, but when Nesta had her mind set on something there was no deterring her.
Nesta halted when she saw Cassian being comforted by Azriel. He felt her presence, turning to see her angry and distraught face. “Nes,” he started, cut off by Nesta raising a slender hand. “What happened?” Nesta bit out.
Cassian took a deep breath, slowly striding over to his mate. Holding her shoulders Cassian looked down at Nesta. Some of her anger melting into worry. “She’s ok Nes. A broken arm, some bruises and scrapes, but that’s all.” Nesta’s eyes flutter shut as she breathes a sigh of relief. “She’s ok.” Nesta whispered back.
Wanting to give them alone time Azriel silently walked past the couple, tilting his head at Gwyn and Em to follow him.
———
After a week you were finally back on your feet. Still sore and bruised but better than before. Nesta and Cassian still haven’t stopped their hovering. They think your ribs will crack if you sigh too hard. And they won’t let you take this damn sling off. It’s very constricting.
To get a break from their mother henning you volunteered yourself for babysitting duty. Nyx wouldn’t pester you about your injuries. All the little boy is worried about his which toy he wanted to play with next. And he had plenty to pick from.
Sitting on the floor with Nyx you were playing teddy bear cafe. You were in charge of refilling tea cups while Nyx did everything else.
The little boy slumped down on the floor, his little wings drooping. “I’m bored.” Nyx huffs. “What! Ok, well how about a board game or one of the puzzles Auntie Amren got you?” You suggest. Nyx shrugs giving you a small pout. He perked up, “Can we play outside?” Excitement in his tone as he bounced on his toes.
“Sure.” You needed to tire him out for nap time anyway. Nyx jetted out the door ready to run around. What you didn’t realize was that you had to run around with him.
Closing the back door behind you, you felt his little hand tap your leg. “Your it! Now you have to catch me!” Nyx yelled, running as fast as his little legs would go. You sigh, holding your injured arm closer to your body. It’ll be fine. You just have to be careful.
After an hour of playing tag Nyx was finally getting tired. You were too. Panting, you stared down at the little guy. A smile on your face as you prepared to run after him one last time. “I’m gonna get you.” Nyx laughed as he ran right at you trying to go around you.
You let him. Then spin to chase after him. As you ran you ignored the uneven ground. You tripped over a divet, loosing your footing you tripped landing right on top of your healing arm. Biting your tongue to hold in your scream your eyes began to water.
Slowly standing Nyx runs over to you. He was bouncing on his feet, “Did I win, did I win?” You gave him a smile to hide your wince from the pain burning through your body. “Yup, you sure did pal. Let’s go inside for nap time.”
Once Nyx was settled you let yourself finally feel the pain. Your arm throbbing as you rocked back and forth on the couch, begging yourself not to cry. Removing the sling you find a new bruise spanning from your wrist to the middle of your arm. “Shit,” you murmur. A few tears escape your eyes as the front door opens.
The four file in, their conversation halting at the sight of you. You felt Nesta and Cassian’s worry through the bond. They were next to you in an instant, Nesta wiping your stray tears. Cass pulls you onto his lap, “what happened baby?”
“I was playing with Nyx in the garden and I fell.” They both coo at you. “I’ll get you a tonic for the pain.” Nesta says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Cassian swayed you lightly taking the focus off your pain and on him. When Nesta returned you downed the tonic.
“You understand that you are not doing any strenuous activity until you’re fully healed.” Nesta said with no room for argument in her tone. You sigh, annoyed as you slump back into Cassian’s chest. “I guess,” you huff.
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar reader fic#acotar reader imagine#acotar imagine#azriel x reader#cassian#cassian acotar x you#cassian acotar x reader#acotar cassian#cassian acotar#nesta acotar#acotar nesta#nesta x reader#nesta x you#nessian x reader#nessian x you#poly!nessian x reader#poly!nessian#poly!nessian x you
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once bitten (and twice shy)
Merry Christmas, @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk! Tis I, your Secret Santa! I really hope you enjoy this fic and I'm hoping to try and post all of it this week to not keep you waiting too long... but in the meantime, enjoy the first part of this 5+1 that I've been toying around with! 🩷
thank you so much to @acotargiftexchange for putting this amazing event together! I can't wait to see what else is in store this week 🫶🏽🫶🏽
Summary: When Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn take a Christmas vacation, Nesta gets far more than she bargained for with the hot guy staying next door.
(Or 5 times Nesta didn't have time for Cassian, plus 1 time she finally did)
Read on AO3 here!
✷✷✷✷✷ Nesta
1.
When Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie had planned their girls’ trip, Nesta hadn’t exactly known what to expect. Sure, she’d assumed this sleepy, holiday town would look like something out of a winter wonderland, but as Nesta took in the sights, even a Grinch like her was forced to admit her expectations had been exceeded.
“Oh, wow,” Gwyn breathed as they came around the corner to reveal their Airbnb. It was a gorgeous house, fully decked out for the holidays with twinkling lights and a snowman out front to boot, and even Nesta had to admit it looked like something out of a Hallmark movie. The house was two stories and decked out with Christmas decor, from lights wrapped perfectly around the frame and candles glowing in each window. “It’s even prettier than the photos.”
“You sure know how to pick them,” Emerie agreed from the driver’s seat. She carefully pulled into the driveway before putting the car in park, and the three of them took one last moment to enjoy the warmth before they braved the cold December air. “Okay, let’s make this as painless as possible.”
Gwyn went to unlock the front door while Nesta and Emerie grabbed as many bags as they could carry. Thankfully, they weren’t in the cold long, and the house was just as beautiful on the inside as it was out. There were plenty of comfortable couches, picturesque sitting areas, and most importantly, three beds just as advertised. They’d paid a little more so everyone at least had their own queen-sized bed, and Nesta and Emerie would share a bedroom while Gwyn had the primary suite, given how close it was to her birthday.
“Woah,” Nesta said as she walked inside. The owners clearly hadn’t limiting their decorations to the outdoors; there was a giant, fully decked out Christmas tree in the living room, garland wrapped around the bannister on the stairs leading upstairs, and red and white stockings hanging above the fireplace.
“Woah is right,” Emerie agreed as she followed Nesta inside. “This looks like it should be in a magazine.”
“I know,” Gwyn replied, coming downstairs to help them continue unloading. “I’m a little obsessed with it.”
“Only a little?” Nesta asked, nodding at Gwyn’s ugly Christmas sweater. Today’s option was a navy sweater complete with a pattern of her cat’s face on it, and Gwyn clearly had no shame.
“I am not ashamed of my love of the holidays,” Gwyn told her primly, “or my cat.”
“Maybe you should be,” Nesta fired back, teasing.
“Just for that, I’m pulling my birthday card,” Gwyn announced, already turning and retreating back upstairs to her room. “Have fun unloading the rest of the car!”
Nesta met Emerie’s eyes and they shared a fond eye roll. “How much is even left?”
“You could probably do it in one trip,” Emerie answered, already backing away with her own bags in hand. “I’m gonna go… unpack my own bags.”
“So much for sisterhood!” Nesta called after Emerie’s retreating back, earning nothing but a loud laugh in return.
It won’t even be that bad, Nesta told herself as she made sure her coat was zipped all the way up. I’ll do this in one trip if it kills me.
Nesta braved the winter air once again and made her way back to the rental car, breathing a sigh in relief when she realized she could almost certainly make it back to the house in one trip. It might take a little finagling, but it would certainly be doable. She squared her shoulders and started laying out the remaining bags, and she was about to start loading up when a voice broke her concentration.
“You need any help with that?”
Nesta turned to see one of the most attractive men she’d ever seen in her life standing on the neighboring house’s porch with a playful look on his face. He was wearing a thick, dark green jacket, black jeans, and heavy winter boots, and she could tell he was built even through the multiple layers of clothes he had on.
“Do I look like I need help?” she eventually said once she’d managed to find her voice. Despite how hot this guy was, she wasn’t going to fall all over herself for him.
“That sounds like a loaded question,” he said back with a lopsided grin, taking a sip of what looked like either coffee or hot chocolate. His eyes looked incredibly green because of his jacket, and they twinkled with his easy smile. “I’m going to go with no.”
“Then why are you offering?” she asked.
He laughed, and damn if that didn’t make her feel things. “Just because you don’t look like you need help doesn’t mean you don’t need it.”
“Even if I needed help, why would I accept it from a stranger?” she fired back.
“I’m Cassian,” Cassian said, and then pointed at the house behind him. “My friends and I are staying here for the week. I heard you guys pull up and thought I’d be… neighborly.”
“You wanted to be neighborly, but you’re standing there with your hands full of hot chocolate,” Nesta said back with a roll of her eyes. “Right. Makes perfect sense.”
“Who says I can’t finish my mug and then offer my services?” he retorted, raising said mug in her direction before he took another sip.
“And what services would those be?” she replied.
“I’m a physical therapist,” he told her, his grin turning downright sinful. “I’m good with my hands, and you seem pretty… tense.”
Nesta resolutely ignored the way heat was pooling between her thighs at the thought of how good those hands could feel on her. She was Nesta Archeron, Esq. Even if she met someone that managed to hold her interest for longer than a few minutes — without pissing her off, of course — she didn’t have time for relationships, or for flings, or even for removing tension. Her last boyfriend certainly hadn’t been worth the effort she’d put into their relationship, and even if he hadn’t cheated, she still regretted bringing him to one of her firm’s events. He just couldn’t keep up with her; who could?
So Nesta buried her head in her work instead. She still made time for her family and friends, of course — she was on this trip with Gwyn and Emerie, and she’d see Feyre and Elain once she got back — but her degrees weren’t going to up and leave her if they got bored. Her billable hours might not always be exciting, but at least they were consistent.
“I’m sure you are,” Nesta eventually replied, making sure to keep her voice as bland and disinterested as possible. Judging by the downright gleeful expression on Cassian’s face, she hadn’t exactly been successful, but whatever. It wasn’t like she’d be spending her entire vacation with him. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got it.”
“Never doubted that you did,” Cassian said. “But I’ll be here all week if you change your mind.”
She rolled her eyes as she began to finally load up on the bags she’d came out here for in the first place. “I won’t.”
“Who was that?” Gwyn asked when Nesta finally returned inside. She must have been watching from one of the large windows overlooking the porch, and Nesta sighed as whatever thoughts she’d had about keeping that interaction to herself went up in smoke. “You were talking to him for a while.”
“Cassian is staying in the house next door with some of his friends,” Nesta answered. “He said he wanted to be… neighborly. Help me with the bags or whatever.”
“Uh huh,” Gwyn replied with a knowing look. “Is that all he offered?”
“He said he’s a PT, and that I looked tense,” Nesta told her with a roll of her eyes. “Like he’s one to judge. He doesn’t even know me.”
“I can feel you grinding your teeth from here,” Gwyn fired back. “Trust me, you don’t need to be an expert to see you need a break.”
“Which is exactly why we’re here, isn’t it?” Nesta retorted without missing a beat. “Besides, I’d much rather relax with my friends than have my time wasted yet again.”
Nesta was thankfully saved by the bell — literally, as someone was ringing the doorbell to their Airbnb. Nesta and Gwyn exchanged glances before silently deciding to see who was at the door, the two of them looking through the frosted glass to see three people waiting for them on the other side. Cassian’s green coat was clearly visible, and the two others with him must have been the friends he’d mentioned during his conversation with Nesta.
“Nesta, what the fuck,” Gwyn hissed under her breath. She turned to look at Nesta incredulously. “You didn’t tell me his friends were hot.”
“Who has hot friends?” Emerie asked, finally coming back downstairs at the commotion.
“Nesta talked to one of our neighbors for the week,” Gwyn answered, “and failed to tell me how hot everyone in that house apparently is!”
“Okay, well let’s not be weird,” Emerie replied slowly, clearly still processing what Gwyn had just shared. “Everybody keep their cool, okay?”
“I’m perfectly cool,” Nesta responded with a roll of her eyes. “And for the record, I didn’t say anything because I only saw Cassian.”
“I’ll bet you did,” Gwyn muttered under her breath, pulling a snicker from Emerie and a scowl from Nesta. “Okay, okay, everyone stay calm. I’m gonna open the door now.”
Gwyn opened the door to reveal Cassian and his two friends — one a blonde woman who was around Nesta’s height, and the other a man who looked so similar to Cassian they could’ve been brothers. The blonde woman lit up at the sight of Emerie, Gwyn, and Nesta , and even Nesta had to admit she was a little underprepared for how much more gorgeous she was with a smile like that on her face. She looked like something out of a winter magazine with her pristine, all-white skiing outfit that somehow managed to show off her curves despite the thick layers of insulation. “Hi neighbors!”
“Hi,” Gwyn replied, her eyes barely resting on the blonde before she openly started ogling her taller, broodier friend. He was dressed in a black peacoat, jeans so dark they nearly looked black, and similar snowboots to Cassian. “How can we help you?”
“Not to be totally weird,” the woman began, her smile turning a little self-deprecating, “but Cassian said you guys were staying here for the week too?”
“Yup, Nesta mentioned that,” Emerie answered, completely ignoring the daggers Nesta was shooting at the back of her head. “We’re here until Friday. I’m Emerie, by the way.”
“I’m Mor, and this is Azriel,” Mor replied, jerking her head toward Tall, Dark, and Brooding. “Sounds like you already met Cassian.”
“Unfortunately,” Nesta grumbled, extremely unamused when Cassian just grinned like a maniac. What was wrong with him? Most men ran for the hills when she showed them this level of disinterest, but it seemed like that only got him going even more. “You’re very… forward.”
“That’s what they say about me,” Cassian said. “Very forward, and very down to take you to dinner later.”
“Jesus Christ, keep it in your pants,” Mor interjected with a roll of her eyes. Nesta was torn between thanking Mor and wishing she’d given Nesta the chance to verbally eviscerate Cassian, but Nesta got the sense he’d enjoy that, too, so maybe it was for the best that Mor had intervened. “You goddamn frat bro. I’m not trying to scare them off.”
“We are both bisexual, Morrigan,” Cassian quipped back without missing a beat. “I can’t be a frat bro, it violates the rules of nature.”
“Since we’re sharing, I’m straight, Nesta’s bisexual, and Emerie’s lesbian,” Gwyn chimed in with a knowing little smirk. “In case it’s… mhmm, relevant or anything.”
“Very relevant,” Mor said, suddenly looking very much like she wanted to eat Emerie alive. She started playing with the zipper on her jacket just enough to be enticing, and even Nesta had to look away before she got sucked in. “What would you say to coming over for dinner tomorrow? We’d love to have you over once you’re settled in.”
“I’m a great chef,” Cassian added, winking at Nesta. “Azriel isn’t a half bad bartender, either.”
“I do love cocktails,” Gwyn mused.
“I could whip up a few things,” Azriel replied, his voice low and deep. “Hope you don’t mind being my taste tester.”
Nesta could feel the moment Gwyn fell — hook, line, and sinker — and had to refrain from releasing a heavy sigh. So much for a girls trip. “That definitely won’t be a problem.”
“So it’s a date, then?” Mor prompted, her eyes lingering on Emerie for a few moments before she turned to look at Nesta expectantly. “Assuming we haven’t already scared you off.”
It felt like everyone was looking at Nesta, as though they’d all mutually decided she was the holdout, and the worst part was they weren’t even wrong. Mor clearly had eyes for Emerie — eyes that were certainly being returned, given how much lower Mor’s zipper had fallen in the last minute or so — and Azriel and Gwyn were locked in some kind of flirtatious staring contest so intense Nesta didn’t even want to look at them. All that left was Cassian eyeing Nesta up like she was a particularly difficult challenge, and the only reason she didn’t visibly bristle was the fact that she could just tell how much he’d enjoy it.
“Well?” Gwyn said. When Nesta didn’t say anything, she whirled around to look at Nesta with murder in her teal eyes. “What do you say, ladies?”
“I guess we have dinner plans tomorrow,” Nesta said back, somehow managing not to sound too put out about it.
“Great!” Mor chirped. She reached into her pocket and somehow managed to extricate her phone, unlocking it with a flourish before passing it over to Emerie. “Can I have your number? So we can sort out all the details?”
“Of course,” Emerie replied. She blushed as Mor passed her the phone, and Nesta had to work to suppress her groan as she realized this trip would be anything but relaxing. “Can’t wait.”
“Me either,” Mor told her with a wink. Emerie’s cheeks went pinker the longer Mor stared at her, a fact that clearly delighted her, but Nesta not-so-subtly coughed and forced the conversation to get back on track. “Okay, we’re gonna stop letting all your hot air out. See you ladies tomorrow!”
“Okay, Gwyn was right,” Emerie said the second the door was closed. “Nesta, you could’ve warned us.”
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#acotar gift exchange#acotar#acosf#nessian#nesta archeron#cassian#cassian acotar#pro nessian#pro nesta archeron#pro cassian#Gwyneth berdara#emerie of illyira#azriel shadowsinger#morrigan acotar#gwynriel#emorie#moodymelanistwrites#nessian prompts
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The Shadowsinger: Five
Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. Angst, implied SA, Tamlin and Amarantha are mentioned, ACOTAR series spoilers. If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Pairings: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: Azriel’s off on a mission, so you train with Cassian. Upon returning, the Spymaster doesn’t like seeing you with his brother.
Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.
My graphics are my own. If you wish to use them, please give credit!
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Prologue - One - Two - Three - Four
The next morning, you were up early but no one was there for breakfast with you. And instead of Azriel, Cassian was in the training ring. “Oh… is Azriel not here today?” You asked.
“He’s got some spying to do, so I’ll keep up with your training.” He said.
Of course Azriel wouldn’t want to keep training you along with his spying. He had so many more important things to do than babysit an amateur Shadowsinger. And it was very apparent from the training session yesterday that you didn’t know nearly as much as him.
“You ready? Or do you need to stare off into the distance for a little longer?” Cassian said and you narrowed your eyes at him.
“I’m ready, Commander.” You teased, getting in the position he started with the warm ups.
Cassian was more brutal than Azriel was, enough so that you were thinking Azriel was going easy on you. The prick. Cass made you sit in squats for longer, balance with your wings stretched out or tucked in more. It was all you could do by the end of it to not fall down the stairs to the House.
“Az said to give you these.” Cassian said and handed you a basket, your muscles groaning at the extra weight. “Said something about an owing you a massage when he got back.”
Your eyes widened and face flushed before you heard Cassian let out a loud chuckle. “You’re almost as bad as him.” He said and laughed. “For spies, you sure don’t hold back when you get embarrassed.” Cass said and winked at you before going to the dining room.
You set the basket in your room, opting to take a bath first before you went to the dining room to dig into the roast that was waiting for you. Then, you went to the library to start on your research into the Cauldron.
You never saw Gwyn. Though Rhys told you that the new priestesses normally took a while to adjust before being out of their dorms. What happened to her just yesterday made your stomach turn… and you couldn’t imagine how horrible it must have been for her to wake up today in a new place. You’d have to ask Clotho how she was doing when you got the chance.
You didn’t learn anything new about the Cauldron, but you brought more books up to the personal library to read more.
You still wondered how Feyre was doing with Tamlin. You remember when Rhys told you the story of what Tamlin’s family did to Rhys’s mother and sister. And how Tamlin himself had killed Rhys’s father. Hearing about the rage that Tamlin held that day… you’d hope it had changed. You’d hoped that Feyre was happy with him, and that he would treat her well. Still, the thought of Feyre with him was unsettling to you. You couldn’t figure it out, and your shadows seemed to be just as disturbed by it whenever it came to your mind.
As you read into the night, waiting to see if you heard Azriel come back, you couldn’t help as your mind wander to how lucky you were that you ended up here after Amarantha died. How you found friends that seemed to care about you, and a High Lord that didn’t just want to use you for his own bidding, but wanted you around because he trusted you. You could get used to calling Velaris, in all its beauty, your home. And these new friends your family.
Azriel didn’t come back to the House of Wind for two weeks. Cassian had taken up your training, and you were already learning how to handle a sword (with the wooden practice ones) when Azriel watched you both from the steps.
He had been searching for the other parts of the Cauldron, ordering his spies to find out anything they could about what Hybern planned to do with it. And he only figured out that Hybern had Jurian’s eye and finger bone. Someone had snuck it off of Amarantha’s body before Tamlin killed her. He still couldn’t find out how, or who.
Seeing you work with Cassian strained something in him. A desire to be around you, or the jealousy that Cass was training you and he wasn’t. Azriel couldn’t tell what it was. Either way, he was almost proud to see you doing so well. What took most young Illyrian’s years to master, you had seem to do it in two weeks. All while taking flying lessons with Cassian as well. Cass told him that you were doing great with all of it. Better than any male he’s trained, actually. And you took it in stride too. Doing everything that Cassian threw at you. He even loaded a pack on your chest two days ago and had you fly up and down the mountain for two hours. You were almost ready to throw the pack at him by the end of it. But you knew it was to build up your strength. If you were going to be carrying Illyrian blades and a bow, you would need it.
Azriel knew you could do good. From the moment you agreed to train, he knew you had the motivation in you to do it. Whether it be from hate of what your family did to you, or from dedication to not let it happen again, he knew you would do it. He wanted to be the one to train you. He wanted to see that dedication every day. He hadn't seen an Illyrian learn so fast in a long time, and he knew it was a testament to an underlying power that brewed within you. That his shadows whispered to him about.
And yet, he took the first mission Rhys offered. There was something about you that pulled his attention every time you were in the room. And he couldn’t place it. His shadows wouldn’t tell him anything. And your few shadows that danced around his ankles up to his hands and neck whenever he was close to you drove him crazy. It’s like he couldn’t get enough of you but also didn’t want to get too close. He couldn’t handle getting close and you pushing him away. Or going for another male like Rhys or Cass. Like Mor had done when she chose Cassian over him. And then never acknowledged him more than a close friend. Family. Nothing like he wanted. He may have given up on her a long time ago, but sometimes it still stung.
So he took the mission to keep his distance. No matter the tug he felt when he was around you. He fought it. And kept his thoughts and emotions about you to himself.
“Azriel!” He heard your voice say, followed by a yelp when Cassian hit your stomach with the butt of the sword.
“Really, Cass?” You growled and nudged him away before jogging over to Azriel. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. Where have you been?” You asked, catching your breath.
“We’re not done!” Cassian yelled at you, but you simply stared at Azriel, waiting for an answer.
All Azriel could do was trail his eyes up the leathers you were wearing. The way they clung to your curves. The way they were already filled out much more than they were that first training day. Your hair was in a braid, but little wisps if it were out, clinging to your forehead with sweat.
“Azriel?” You asked again, not shifting under his stare like you had before. Training like this with Cassian had made you much more confident. Like you were before Amarantha came and tore your life apart. You still didn’t want to admit how much those 50 years effected you. Even if they were still recent. You wanted to put them in the past and not think about them any more that you were required. And luckily, no one had asked you much after the first day of telling them your story.
Cassian bounded over, patted Azriel on the shoulder in a way of greeting, and then picked you up over his shoulder.
“Cassian!” You yelled and clenched your fists. “Put me down,” you ground out.
“No chance, you are still training. And no pretty boy is going to distract you. Got it?” He asked and you grumbled. “Got it?” He asked again.
“Yes! Cauldron… Now put me down before I start clawing your wings.” You said firmly. He set you down back in the middle of the training ring and handed you the sword you discarded.
“What’s the number one rule I taught you about your weapon?” He asked.
“The pointy end goes away from you?” You remarked, earning a swipe of his own sword, which you blocked. “Don’t drop it in the middle of a fight without a purpose.” You said and knocked his sword back.
Azriel watched as you bantered with Cassian almost as seamlessly as you fought. At one point, you had Cassian so speechless and stunned that you were able to knock his sword from his hand. It was at that point that Cassian knocked you from your feet, your sword clattering much farther away from you than his. Cass always did want to be the one to win the battle.
It was everything Azriel could do to not go and help you out. Or coach you on how to get out from under him. Especially since Cassian was much larger than you. Not to mention better trained.
He must have been feeling generous, or you got the drop on him (probably the former) because you were able to use his weight against him and flip the two of you over so you were on top. Straddling his hips, your hands mere inches from the tips of his wings. Panting.
“Rhys wants us in the dining room for lunch.” Azriel called out, knowing that Rhys would wait. And if he really wanted you all to meet, he could speak mind-to-mind easily. But Azriel couldn’t stand to see you in that position with Cassian. And he couldn’t stop himself for imagining him under you instead. He quickly turned on his heel and vanished with his shadows back to his room.
“Just when it was getting fun.” You joked as you stood up and held out a hand for Cassian, who let out a booming laugh.
“Keep saying things like that and Az might slice me to bloody ribbons.” He joked and you shrugged.
“I doubt it. He doesn’t seem too interested in me.” You said as you grabbed a glass of water and downed it. “And if he is, he sure has a weird way of showing it. He ignored me the whole first month, trained me one day, and then disappeared on a two week mission. And he’s still ignoring me.” You muttered and downed another glass of water.
“Hmm… let’s show him what he’s missing, then,” Cass said and slung an arm around your shoulder, avoiding your wings. Your shadows curled away slightly from his touch. Not in a bad way, but in a way that didn’t happen with Azriel. They always curled around him. Even if he wasn’t touching you, but in the same room. You always tacked it up to him being a Shadowsinger himself, and maybe it was comforting for your shadows to have someone else to cling to. You still barely knew how the things worked. Even after having them around for a hundred years.
You knew how to hide in them, how to listen and talk to them, how to winnow with them. But not much else. It was still a hassle most of the time when you wanted to control them. So if a few of your shadows wanted a more experienced singer to cling to, you were more than willing to let them. For a little while. You still liked your shadows. If you ever had to go without them, you wouldn’t know what to do. Wouldn’t have the comforting feel of them whirling your ankles and wings. Throughout your hair.
“Come out with us tonight.” Cassian said once you made it down the stairs.
You looked up at his towering form and rose your eyebrows. “Where?” You asked. Even the first month of you here, you didn’t go out with them. You didn’t go into the city much either, barely even visited the town home. You didn’t want to impose on it just yet. And it was too many people who would be watching your every move. Like they did when you worked for her. So you stayed in the House. And you liked it. Plus, you started to see Gywn around the library, not speaking to anyone, but at least she was out of her dorm.
“To Rita’s. I know Mor would love it. She’s been complaining that you didn’t come last week.” He said and you smiled a bit. You quite liked the female. She was bright and full of energy. And she didn’t take shit from the boys. And barely took it from Amren, who still scared you enough to not meet her eye.
“I don’t have much to wear.” You said, Cassian cringing as you both heard a yelp from down the stairs to the dining room.
“Did I hear that we’re going shopping?” Mor said and bounded over to the bottom of the stairs, bouncing on her heels.
“I didn’t say that.” You teased as you stepped down beside her.
“Oh, please? I’ll help you pick out the perfect outfit.” She said and nudged you. You winced a bit, still sore from the training. Your braid was still a mess. But you didn’t care, you were starving and just wanted to eat. Even if you looked ridiculous.
As if reading your thoughts, your shadows swirled around your head, either covering or smoothing your hair, you couldn’t tell. Either way, you silently thanked them.
“Hmm.. fine. But I would prefer to go when it’s not too crowded…” you said and she gave you a knowing look. As if she too knew what it was like to want to hide away. You weren’t sure how she would ever feel like that. You figured she got more energy from being around people, new people, than anyone else. Where as for you… well you learned to like your solitude. Probably from the years you spent locked in your cabin while your family went to train. And then the years following that was spent in a village with no more than 50 inhabitants.
“So you’ll come out with us tonight?” Cassian asked as you entered the dining room with them.
Shrugging again, you answered, “Sure. Though if people start asking me to do party tricks with my shadows, I’m leaving.” You said and rolled your shoulders back, tucking in your wings.
“Trust us, they won’t. Not when Az is the only Shadowsinger they knew and he once stabbed someone for looking at him the wrong way.” Mor joked and you furrowed your eyebrows. Even though Azriel was a little cold to you, you could tell he was kind. Especially with the way this family acted with him.
“He was 38 and we were recovering from the war, remember?” Rhys added from his spot at the table. “And that was in Hewn. Everyone in Hewn would be stabbed if they looked at Az the way that male did.” He mentioned and then leaned back. He didn’t have his wings out today, so you figured this was a business lunch more than a formal one. They had all mainly been away, or you’d been I’m your room burying your nose in the books on the Cauldron. Or they had been meeting in the town home. Definitely not around you.
Soon you were all settled, Azriel appearing before the meal was served and sitting next to Rhys and Amren. Cassian was on your right, and Mor on your left. That left the other three across from you. It felt like someone was missing from the table, but as you counted around, you knew that was everyone.
After you had all ate a couple bites (Amren pushing her food around like always), Rhys looked up, setting his utensils down. “Cassian, I need you to go to Windhaven.” Rhys said. “See how the army is coming along. And if the females are being trained properly.” He said, then looked at you. “And I would prefer if you went along.” He said.
“Just with Cassian? Don’t you need to introduce me as emissary?” You asked and Rhys shook his head.
“Cass is the commander of my armies. If he says they’re to listen to you, they will.” Rhys said and you rose your eyebrows. You knew Illyrians. And you knew that wasn’t true. You also knew that Rhys knew it too. But you weren’t going to push, so you nodded.
“How long do you want me there?” Cassian asked.
“Two weeks, and then you can come back in time for the Solstice.” He said. “We’ll spend it in the townhome.”
“You think Devlon is ready for another Shadowsinger?” Azriel piped in.
“The question is, do you think Devlon is ready for the first female Shadowsinger?” Cassian asked.
You hummed. “I think you all need to be asking if Devlon is ready for me. I’m not just a Shadowsinger, you know.” You said, crossing your arms. “And I think the answer is no. Devlon used to be a friend of my father’s. He very might well faint when he recognizes me to be the daughter of Rechard Vash.” You stated and smirked.
“I like how you think, girl.” Amren said and leaned back in her chair, her arm draped over the arm of it. “I say Devlon has whatever is coming to him from her,” she said as she looked at Rhys.
He only chuckled as he went back to eating. “Was that it?” You asked and leaned forward. “Or should I leave so you can discuss what Azriel learned on that mission?” You asked.
None of them stiffened at your tone, or the implication that they didn’t trust you.
“I merely wanted to finish my food,” Rhys said with an easy smile. “But if you’re eager to learn about what the Spymaster learned, go ahead Az.” He said and took another bite of the roast.
“I didn’t learn anything useful,” Azriel said. “Well, other than that there are two pieces of the Cauldron missing and I still have no clue where the third one is. Though, it’s probably in a temple.” He said. “Hopefully here. If it’s in another Court… that’ll be harder to detect.” He finished.
“I never thought you’d be one to be down on yourself,” you said, taking a bite of vegetables. “Sounds like you learned quite a lot.”
Once again, he ignored you and looked at Rhys. “Any chance I can go back to Sangravagh and examine it again?” He asked and Rhys waved his hand. “Go where you need to, but I still have one more thing to ask of you when we’re done with lunch.” He said.
As much as you wanted to slump into your chair, you stayed still as you ate. You didn’t know what you did wrong to have Azriel act so indifferent towards you. Of all the Inner Circle, you thought you would bond with him the most. Being a Shadowsinger… it wasn’t easy. It was rare and the looks that you got. The burdens that you had to carry. You figured only he would understand. But he didn’t even try to speak to you.
And it continued into the night, after you went shopping with Mor. She even had Rhys’s in-house tailor fix all the clothing so your wings would fit seamlessly around them. All in time to go to Rita’s.
A/N: This is a fun little chapter with some of Az’s pov - a little longer than the rest. When the IC + our reader goes to Rita's in the next chapter... I think you'll enjoy it!!
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when life gives you lemons
With ao3 down, it seems like the perfect time to transfer more stories from my 100 Ways to Say I Love You series over here! Here's one from early 2023. Credit to this user for the divider and I hope you enjoy <3
“TK?” Jonah’s voice is quiet and TK can hear his confusion clear through the question. “Am I doing something wrong?”
He looks up at TK; his eyebrows knitted together, and his lower lip is jutted out. His green eyes showing slight defeat. TK doesn’t know how to do it; but he knows he wants that look to go away. “Of course not, buddy. We just need to be patient; someone will walk by, eventually.”
TK didn’t say it out loud; but he wasn’t too sure how true that would be with it being in the high 80s on a Thursday afternoon in the suburbs of Austin.
Jonah doesn’t seem too convinced by TK’s false optimism so TK tries his next best trick; distraction.
“Why don’t you inside, grab some more markers, huh?” TK suggests. “We can make some more signs, use some of that glitter glue we got yesterday.”
Jonah dejectedly agrees before hoping off of his chair and walking through the opened garage and into their house.
TK occupies his time alone by spinning the mixing spoon in the pitcher of strawberry fizzy lemonade and rearranging the red plastic cups. He feels his phone start to vibrate agains the table and hurries to grab it, at risk of the newly arranged cups becoming askew.
“Hey,” TK answers, not bothering to see who it is.
“Hey babe,” Carlos’ voice is cutting through the line and TK smiles to himself. He sounds exhausted but TK loves the sound just the same. “I’m heading home, did you want me to pick up anything for dinner?”
TK looks at the pitcher of lemonade again before answering. “Do you think we already have everything for chicken Alfredo?”
Carlos is quiet a moment, visualizing what they already have in the kitchen. “I think so, but, I’ll probably pick up some more Parmesan cheese anyways. We just had it a couple of nights ago, is it that high in demand again already?”
TK shrugs even though he knows Carlos can't see him. “It’s Jonah’s favorite and I think he just needs a little bit of a pick me up.”
“What’s going on?” TK can hear Carlos getting into this car, the sound of his voice becoming more insulated.
“We’re selling lemonade.” TK mixes the pitcher again as he sees some of the flavoring start to settle at the bottom. “Well, we’re trying to.”
“TK, I already told you we can afford the science camp we’re sending Jonah to this week.” Carlos jokes.
TK fights a laugh before he replies. “First of all, it’s math camp this week, science was last week and second,” TK leans against the back his chair. “You’re not funny.”
“Oh you know you laughed,” Carlos answers, seeing right through TK.
“Anyways,” TK says, moving swiftly on. “Last week they learned how to make fizzy lemonade as a science experiment. This week, they watched a School House Rock special about how to save money. Long story short, I have a seven year old who has decided to go toe to toe with Country Time Lemonade.” TK explains and Carlos laughs. “Though it’s not looking to good for us but Jonah doesn’t want to give up.”
“Well, he is your brother.” Carlos remarks, off-handedly.
“I’m assuming that’s a good thing?”
“It’s the best thing, TK” Carlos answers. “You never do anything halfway; you should have known Jonah wouldn’t either.”
“That’s true.” TK mumbles. “And we are both our mother’s child.” TK mutters to himself, thinking fondly about Gwyn. Gwyn always tried her best not to give up on anything, on anyone; on him. “It’s just, we haven’t had any customers and I can tell it’s starting to get to him. I don’t want him to be sad about something out of his control.”
Carlos is silent a moment before replying, “Well, between you and me, I think his luck might change soon.”
TK’s looking over the signs he and Jonah had spent the last 20 minutes working on. He points at a black and yellow blob. “And that is,”
“It’s a bumblebee, TK.” Jonah rolls his eyes. “Can’t you see the stinger?”
TK looks at the drawing closer, not seeing anything different. “Oh yeah, it’s right there.” TK points in a general direction and Jonah moves his finger down until he’s pointing at something completely different. “Ah, got it.”
He holds up the sign, “Why bumblebees? We’re not selling honey.”
Jonah releases a very purposeful and heavy sigh. “They’re yellow? Like the lemons?”
TK nods his head, “Oh yes, obviously.”
Before TK can continue to embarrass himself is front of the seven year old business mogul himself, he sees a movement out of the corner of his eyes. He turns slightly to see Carlos walking down the sidewalk. He’s still dressed in his uniform and TK can’t help but feel a pang sympathy for him. Last time he checked his watch it was 86 degrees; and that was an hour ago.
Carlos walks up to where both he and Jonah are sitting before saying, “Hey there, so I was in the neighborhood.
TK’s eyebrows furrow, “Carlos we’re married, we live together, this is our neighborhood.”
“Just go with it, babe.” Carlos says through a tired smile. “Anyways, I was in the neighborhood and couldn’t help but be drawn to this colorful sign. I really love the bumblebees.”
Jonah’s smile is so bright TK can feel himself falling in love with Carlos all over again. “Thanks! He didn’t even know where the stinger was.” Jonah using his thumb to gesture to TK.
“How could he not,” Carlos jokes and TK can start to see where this is going. “Isn’t it that,” Carlos points to exactly where the stinger is. “Right there?”
“Is there something we can help you with, sir?” TK asks the question; annoyed but more importantly, playful.
“Well, I was hoping to buy some lemonade, and this seemed like the perfect place.” Carlos smiles and TK swears he can see all traces of defeat leave Jonah’s eyes. “What do you have?”
Jonah begins to talk Carlos through the both options: classic lemonade, strawberry lemonade; both fizzy. “It’s twenty-five cents a cup.”
“Hmm,” Carlos looks over the pitchers, weighing his options. “How much for the both pitchers?”
“You want to buy all of it?” Jonah asks, eyes wide.
“Yeah, how much are we looking at?” Carlos asks, reaching for his wallet. TK gently nudges Jonah, whispering loud enough for Carlos to hear. “Overcharge him.”
Jonah ignores him as Carlos laughs and pulls out a five. Jonah does the math, and TK watches his work. He can see the math camp is doing him some good. When Jonah tells him how much it’ll be, Carlos hands over the five and tells him to keep the change.
“Thanks, Carlos.” Jonah smiles up at Carlos, one of his front teeth missing.
“Go put that with the money you got from the tooth fairy, okay?” TK suggests. “Then come back out here so we can clean this all up before dinner.”
TK watches after Jonah before turning and looking up at Carlos. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You love it.” Carlos argues and TK sighs as he stands up and begins pouring the lemonade from the cups back into the pitchers.
“You know I do.” TK leans forward looking around them and the houses next to them. “Where’s your baby?”
“What are you talking about, you’re standing right there.” Carlos says the words casually.
TK smiles despite himself. “You’re cute, I mean your car.”
“Parked down at the Bakers; don’t worry, I let Mandy know.” Carlos shrugs, “Felt like parking in the drive way and walking up would ruin the illusion.” Carlos gestures to the plastic bag in hand, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go put some Parmesan cheese in the fridge before this Texas heat causes it to spoil.”
TK grabs Carlos’ shoulder before he makes it too far, “Babe,” He looks up at Carlos. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you two.” Carlos smiles. “Chicken Alfredo paired with a ice cold glass of fizzy lemonade. Sounds like a pretty perfect dinner to me, don’t you think?”
TK smiles. “About as perfect as could be.”
#i guess there's always been a piece of my mind that knows these two would drop everything for this kid#series: this is what falling in love feels like#jonah morgan#carlos reyes#tk strand#tarlos#911 ls#911 lone star#my writing#tarlos fic
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Misapprehensions and Confessions (part 2)
(moodboard creds to @sunshinebingo🥹)
Day 2: First Fight
Summary: It has been a regular routine for Gwyn to seek out the spymaster for training. And when he suggests helping her out with getting reaccustomed to society, it doesn't take too much persuasion for Gwyn to agree. But when he doesn't show up one day, Gwyn takes up the liberty to accompany herself into the city.
That one decision is all it takes for it all to fall apart.
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Word Count: 3943
Warnings: angst hehehe, misunderstanding, azzie is a dummy but sweetheart cassian is there to make you happy 💪🏻 a teensy bit of an argument, but i think thats it?
A/n: heres the second part for the mini series for day 2 of @sjmromanceweek❣️ writing the angst was so much fun honestly, LIKE IT GAVE ME LIFE 🥹🥹🥹
once again, it was so good doing this collab with my love @sunshinebingo 🥹 ily so much omg thank you for doing this w me😭🥹
Read on AO3 here
ANYWAYS, ENJOYYYY!!!🥳🥳🥳
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Gwyn’s pov.
Next week came, but the Shadowsinger did not.
Gwyn had been waiting for almost an hour at their usual meet up spot in one of the sitting rooms in the House of Wind, having snagged a book from the library to flip through as she waited.
She had been excited for the meet up, to say the least. She couldn’t stop wondering where he was going to take her this time after going to the restaurant the previous week. The thought had kept her up all night as she twisted and turned in her sheets.
She had gone the extra mile while getting dressed up too, picking out the teal sweater Azriel had once mentioned made her eyes look brighter. Under that, she wore a pencil skirt with tights, having seen one of the females in Velaris wear something similar. She had thought the female looked pretty, and wanted to see what she looked like in it herself.
She continued to flip the pages of the book, reading and reading, smiling at the words. The story was cute, one of a female who was trying to save her family with the help of her siblings and friends, one of them being her love interest. The banter, the softness they shared made Gwyn long for a similar connection, if not more.
She loved the male love interest a lot, and the fact that he was so similar to one of her own friends did not go unnoticed by Gwyn.
Maybe she will have her own love story one day, with the friend she liked more than she should.
More than friends should like each other.
But with each moment that passed, her eyes stopped reading, and remained unseeing. The tilt of her lips fading as she got lost in her own head. She stared down at the soft, crinkling pages, running her fingers over the edges. They were painted in beautiful shades, depicting a scenery of a mountain from the book.
Pretty.
But not pretty enough to distract her from the absence of a certain Shadowsinger.
Footsteps drew Gwyn from her reverie, and she perked up, her gaze lading on the doors she had left ajar. Hope bloomed in her gut, even as she knew it was not the one she had been expecting coming closer to her.
The footsteps were too heavy, too powerful, to be his.
Still, she waited, she watched, she wished.
She hoped.
And a moment later, Cassian strutted into view, a smile gracing his face when he realised Gwyn was in the room. She returned the smile, willing her disappointment to vanish.
“Gwyn! Good seeing you here!” He paused behind the couch adjacent to the one Gwyn sat on. “I thought you might be down in Velaris, this is a pleasant surprise.”
Gwyn sighed, relaxing into the soft cushions behind her. “Yeah, I thought so too.”
His brows furrowed, and he quickly glanced around the room. “Where’s Az?”
She shrugged, setting the book aside and pushing to her feet. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s busy?”
Cassian’ confusion was palpable as he huffed. “He can never be busy enough to put off your dates.”
“We don’t go on dates.” Gwyn scowled. “They are outings.”
He simply smirked in return, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. “Sure, right. My bad.”
Gwyn’s eyes narrowed as she watched him walk over to the balcony, dusting off her skirt absentmindedly. “Are you going somewhere?”
He glanced back at her, nodding. “Nesta’s at the river house with Feyre and Nyx. Gonna go pick her up.”
Gwyn chewed on her lip as she thought, then her eyes shot to him. “Hey Cass?”
“Hmm?”
“Can you take me down to the city?”
This time he turned to her fully, his brows high on his forehead. “I…what?”
Gwyn rolled her eyes, ignoring the new sadness taking root in her chest at the lack of those playful shadows and their quiet master’s presence. “Do you not want to?”
He took a step forward before pausing, extending his hand. “Oh no, no I would love to. I am just surprised, that’s all.”
Gwyn raised an eyebrow, but moved closer to him to let him pick her up. By this point, she was comfortable enough with him that the spike of fear and anxiety no longer pierced her heart when he was in close proximity to her, and it was just another thing she was proud of herself for.
He gently wound his arms under her knees and back, careful to only touch her where needed, and flapped his wings once. There was a reason the house built in the mountain was called the House of Wind, because as soon as he lifted from the ground, a powerful gust of wind caught under his wings and sent them soaring. He glided smoothly, his wing muscles beating effortlessly. Five centuries of flying practice truly showed in his skills.
Gwyn had once studied about wings and how they work, reading extensively about Illyrian ones. They had been so fascinating to her then, as they were fascinating to her now. The way they moved always had her mesmerized. Every time she flew with Azriel too, she would either always stare at his wings or the city down below.
Azriel.
Gwyn looked away from Cassian’s wings, instead casting her gaze downwards, towards the ground that rapidly grew closer as he descended. His feet touched the ground with a light thump before he bent slightly and set Gwyn on her feet.
“Are you sure about this, Gwyn?”
She turned to him, nodding. “I am. We go out every week so I can get accustomed to socialising once more.” And just because Gwyn was feeling petty, she added. “I’m not going to mess up my routine just because someone cannot be bothered to inform me before standing me up.”
Cassian’s lips parted, but then he closed them with an amused smirk. “Very proud of you, Gwyn.”
Though his expression was teasing, his words sounded so genuine they nearly brought Gwyn to tears.
“Thank you, Cass.”
“I will likely be here for an hour or two, depending on Nyx’s mood and who he is currently attached to today, so you can just come to the River House if you want to go back.” He clasped her shoulder, smiling. “And even if I’m up there, you can just ask Rhys to get me, yeah?”
Gwyn nodded gratefully. “Of course, thank you again.”
She waited until Cassian had turned away, waving in farewell as he climbed up the steps to one of the majestic houses of the High Lord.
Then she turned, and began wandering down the street.
She gazed at everything she passed by, unwilling to miss even a moment of the sheer beauty of Velaris. The shimmering waters of the Sidra, the golden shadows casted by the dying sun across the ground and the flora, the faelights bobbing gently over the entrances to shops and restaurants. Hawkers selling their wares, fruit stalls next to dessert stalls.
She walked without a destination in mind, her hand bent at a slight angle towards her thigh - where she had strapped her dagger under her skirt- involuntarily, the action muscle memory at this point.
She was lost in thought, wondering what could have been so important that Azriel had not even bothered to inform her. It could have been that he was on an important mission, and that he had no way to contact her. It could have been that he had almost completely forgotten.
Gwyn didn’t know. But she did know that she was mad, and she would not forgive him until he had grovelled enough.
The moment she had the thought, guilt followed. What if he truly was busy and if he had taken time off to send her a letter, he could have been in danger?
She shook her head, trying to dislodge the thought as she glanced around her. She felt tired already, so bored out of her mind without him. She had no idea what she even wanted to do anymore. It would have been better if she had stayed home and completed her projects for Merrill.
Home.
It was such a beautiful, comforting word. The word that had meant nothing to Gwyn for years after her sister was taken from her. It was just that, a word. No meaning, no feelings.
But for quite some time now, since she had met Nesta, since the day Gwyn had dragged herself to the training ring, telling herself over and over that she would be fine, better even, that Cassan would not hurt her, that he wasn’t that kind of a male, a male pathetic enough to force females to feel better about his own self, the word had taken on a new meaning.
Gwyn had learned that home meant more than just four walls and a roof. Home meant friends. Home meant laughing over trivial things, freely and loudly. Home meant warmth.
Home meant Azriel.
She didn’t know when, or how, but slowly, he had become the definition of friend, the laughter, the warmth that made a home, home.
And slowly, the intimidating, lonely walls that had kept her from the scary outside world became so much more.
It was almost dark, the horizon tinting darker and darker with each passing moment, when Gwyn stumbled upon the restaurant that Azriel had taken her to the previous week.
She smiled at the sight of those pristine walls, the memories that surfaced threatening to make her giggle. She walked on, passing by the entrance, the beautiful stars leading up to it.
And she caught a whiff of the smell she had become so familiar with.
It caused her bones to freeze, her muscles stiffening as she turned her head to look.
The interior was still dark, so different compared to the outside. Soft aroma of chicken, rice, herbs, everything drifted out, mixing into such a sweet smell that it would be impossible to not go in.
But yet, under that, was the smell of cedar, of night, of shadows.
Gwyn’s eyes narrowed, and she had only taken a step up the stairs when she saw him.
Past the reception, past a number of tables and chairs and candles, he sat.
At the same spot he had sat with Gwyn.
With the same smile on his face, his eyes soft. His hand under his chin, his lips tilted as he nodded.
At a female. The chair Gwyn had occupied merely seven days ago was now occupied by a female.
She looked like a complete opposite of her.
Curly blonde hair piled spilled down her shoulders, her eyes and skin the prettiest shade of brown. Her figure was curvy, soft, sweet. So unlike Gwyn.
The female wore a strapless tight fitting dress, the material clinging to her like a second skin.
She looked so comfortable, so confident, Gwyn wondered why she ever thought she even stood a chance with Azriel. Of course he’d be interested in someone who was confident in herself, someone who wasn’t afraid to know and show she was pretty.
His words from the previous week floated around in her head amidst the confusion and hurt, solidifying her new beliefs.
“So you like it?”
“Of course I like it! Anyone would love this place. It is so beautiful.”
Had she been only a friend who he wanted the opinion of to impress the female he was actually interested in? Just a guinea pig?
Gwyn’s eyes prickled, and she took a step away, as if simply the sight of Azriel touching the other female’s hand - smiling secretively, his eyes hooded and seductive- would burn her.
Yet she couldn’t look away, not until someone bumped into her shoulder, apologising profusely. She didn’t even look at the fae. She bowed her head in acknowledgement before willing her legs to move. Hoping to leave before Azriel’s shadows - who for some reason were so attuned to her every move that she would find them anywhere she went - reported her presence to their master.
She moved through the thickening crowds, laughing children and flirting adults. Kept pushing herself to walk, to run, back to the River House. She needed to go back. She knew she could not handle any interactions, especially one with Azriel if he found her before she could drown herself in work.
Just when the house came into sight, she slowed down, blinking hard and regulating her breathing. She could see activity inside the house, soft warm light spilling onto the grass under the windows and the porch leading up to the main door, which opened just as she went to knock.
“Gwyn?” Nesta stared at her wide eyed, brows high in surprise.
“Um, hey Nesta.” Gwyn swallowed uneasily.
Instantly, Nesta was alert. “What happened? Did someone do something? Where’s Azriel?”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you Nes. I think Az forgot about their date and Gwyn went into the city alone.” Cassian’s voice answered before Gwyn could, and for that she was grateful, as she wasn’t feeling particularly excited to speak.
Nesta’s eyes hardened as she glanced at her mate. “He mentioned he was going out with a female. Did he not inform you? ” She turned to glare at Gwyn. “And even if he forgot, why the hell did you-”
“Nesta, she is not a child.”
Gwyn’s blood went hot, anger simmering through each vein as she realised he really was on a date. And he had told Nesta, but not her.
She would kill him.
Nesta opened her mouth to speak, then seemed to think the better of it and just pulled Gwyn into a hug. “What happened, Gwyn? Why do you look so spooked?”
Gwyn shook her head as best as she could in her friend’s embrace, her heart finally slowing down slightly at the comforting touch. “Nothing, really. I just got a bit… anxious, that’s all. I just want to go back up.”
Nesta pulled away, nodding and turned to Cassian. “Drop her off at the house please, I can wait.”
“Nesta- no-”
The glare Gwyn received in return was enough to shut her up as Cassian picked her into his arms like she weighed nothing, then shot into the sky.
“She really is scary sometimes, no?”
Gwyn huffed, her lips tilting in a surprised smile. “She was mad when we first met too.”
He laughed, his chest vibrating against Gwyn’s upper arm as she kept her arms folded close to her chest. He quieted after that, his focus solely on the mountain that loomed over them.
He flew towards the main sitting room, which they all used most of the time, as far as Gwyn knew.
But he was not Azriel, and the sitting room was not close to the library.
Just another reminder of how considerate, how attentive Azriel had always been to her. Of how he forgot about her today.
But no, she wouldn’t spend her day thinking about him anymore. Not when he couldn’t even bother to let her know he was going on a real date.
That he was ditching her for the one who he actually wanted.
She bid a goodbye to Cassian, not waiting to see him fly off before she retreated to the dorm she shared with her fellow priestesses, pulling out the large tomes she had been assigned to read through and summarise.
But she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus.
Not with him occupying her thoughts.
Az's pov
Something was wrong.
Azriel had considered many things in order to understand what was bothering him so much.
Last night's mission had gone fine; the female he had to seduce to get important intel an easy one to flirt with to get her to talk, even when his entire being had recoiled at his sweet talking and his suggestive touches. Even his shadows had felt uncomfortable and had hissed after every few minutes of the interaction. But it had been a necessity for his job, his duty towards his court. The accomplishment of this mission should have filled him with relief and a sense of freedom from something he had felt reluctant towards from the start. But still…
Rhys and Feyre had thanked him for the information he had gathered that day. Azriel didn't need their thanks for having done something that was expected of him, although having the validation of his High Lord and Lady had been nice. But still…
Something was wrong.
You know what, one of his shadows whispered. The only one that had bothered speaking to him since his mission with that female. All the others were still oddly silent, leaving that one - the same one which had always favoured Gwyn since they all met her - to occasionally use its voice to throw some scathing comments at him.
Azriel sighed after one of his daggers hit one of the dummies in the training ring.
“Yes. I know,” he muttered, even with no one but the moon and his silent shadows to hear him.
At least he thought.
Footsteps sounded at the doorway, before the source of Azriel’s troubled mind walked onto the training area. An intense wave of emotion washed over him; hope, relief, joy, excitement…awe.
Gwyn looked breathtaking under the starry sky, the night making her look even more fierce as she walked determinedly to the weapons rack clad in skin tight leathers.
Azriel stood still for a moment, unable to move as he watched his shadows - every single one of them - rush to her. Gwyn giggled at their excited dance around her. He heard her whisper something to them but couldn't make out what it was. He mentally called for his shadows to come back to him. None listened.
“Uh… hey,” he finally blurted out.
Gwyn turned to him then. Azriel felt a heavy weight drop in his stomach at the apathetic look in her eyes. His heart constricted with fear and worry, so much that he immediately began walking towards her.
“What happe-”
“Hi,” she cut his question off. Her dry tone stopped him in his tracks.
“Are you alright?”
Something flickered in her eyes for a second before she turned her back to him, took a deep breath in, then out, and picked up a few daggers from the rack.
“I'm fine,” she gritted out without looking at him.
Azriel frowned in confusion.
The hell she was.
He hadn't seen her at training this morning, hadn't caught a single glimpse of her anywhere for the entire day, hadn't heard the sound of her voice. And now that she was here before him, the usual light missing from her eyes and her posture stiff as though from restraint, she dared say that she was fine?
Gwyn walked past him, his shadows trailing behind, and stopped a distance away from the dummies in which the daggers he had thrown earlier were still embedded.
He followed.
“You can lie to anyone about this, Gwyn, but you can't deceive me.”
Her first dagger flew and landed in a dummy's throat. She let out a humorless laugh.
“Is this tonight's lesson then? Lies and deception?”
She threw another dagger, this one lodging itself in the centre of the dummy's chest.
Azriel looked at Gwyn from head to toe, hoping to find answers to the growing mystery unfolding before him. He desperately wished to know what was happening to her. He needed to make her feel better. Azriel needed his Gwyn back.
“Gwyn please,” he took a few steps until he stood right in front of her. His shadows remained closer to her. “What is happening?”
The sadness that darkened her eyes as she looked at him made him feel like the dummy, this invisible weapon sinking straight into his heart. It twisted deeper inside him with the tears that he noticed pooling in her eyes.
He brought a hand up and cupped her cheek. “My Gwyn,” he whispered, unaware that it had made it out of his mouth.
Her teal eyes fixed on his hazel ones, searching. For what, he did not know? But he was certain that he was ready to give her anything. Before he could give in to the urge to pull her into his arms, anger flashed on her face.
She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away.
“Don't,” she said as she put more distance between them.
Azriel didn't hear what she murmured to his shadows due to the beating of his heart resonating in his ears and which drowned out every other sound. He didn't even acknowledge them slithering back to him. He only watched Gwyn run away and disappear through the doorway.
Azriel stood there, frozen and stunned. Until he felt his shadows smack him in the face, their shadowy forms conveniently solid for a task like this.
Idiot master, hissed the one shadow.
Is that all you have to say? He scowled at it. What would have been more helpful was if they told him what was wrong and how he could fix things with Gwyn. But that was apparently not in their plans.
I'm going with her, was all it said before it floated away. The others stayed. They remained silent, leaving Azriel alone with his thoughts.
The conversation - or was it an argument? He wasn't sure - replayed over and over in his head, even as he descended the stairs down into the House of Wind. He was so distracted that he didn't notice Cassian until he almost crashed into the chair he sat in at the living room table.
“Whoa! You alright here brother?” Cass asked, his mouth full of the cake he had a huge slice of on his plate.
Azriel pulled the chair next to Cassian and sat down. He pulled Cassian’s plate towards him and snatched his fork right out of his hand.
“I'm fine,” he said. He winced at the memory of those same words coming from Gwyn. The dread he hadn't realised he had been feeling worsened at the mere thought of her name.
He dug into Cassian's midnight snack, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth.
“You don't have anything to do with Gwyn rushing down the stairs to the library like the house is on fire do you?” Cassian stared at him with raised brows.
Azriel looked at him. “What…?” was all he managed to ask with his full mouth.
What is happening to her, to us? What did I do? How do I fix this?
His shadows still remained silent.
Cassian stared at him while rubbing his chin.
“Listen, I'm only asking because she hasn't seemed well since she went out alone yesterday.”
Azriel suddenly felt like he was swallowing stones. “What?” he asked incredulously.
What is he talking about?
His shadows did not answer him again. But Cassian thankfully did.
“She insisted that she didn’t mind you missing one of your dates,” he put the last word between air quotes, “but her face told another story.”
Cassian kept talking, telling him how Gwyn had looked when she had joined them at the River House after.
Something clicked inside him. The fork he held fell on the table, its clatter echoing in the room.
Finally, his shadows muttered collectively.
“You're more dense than I thought.” Cassian shook his head, disappointment lacing his words as he dragged the plate back to him.
Azriel’s eyes widened. His heart pounded in his chest. His mind raced in panic.
He fucked up. And now he was paying for it, he realised. He needed to fix this. He had to if he wanted Gwyn back. And Azriel was willing to do anything.
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Something I find wild is that the people who love the IC are the same people who hate on Nesta. Now i already know this but we need to go through each ones personality real quick.
Rhys: a male with supposedly enough power to be High King of Pyrithan doesn't do anything for his people. Not even for the ones he supposedly loves because even in that city there are slums that he let his mates sister live in (also I can't remember how to spell it Val I think but whatever). A warrior people he keeps in the worst conditions on his mountain plains because they are just too stubborn even though we don't have a story or see him actually suggesting this to any of the leaders of any camp. And Hewn City, need I say more? They are treated horribly by him and then he wonders why they have a bad attitude when most haven't even breathed fresh air?
Mor: now I kinda like Mor but if I'm honest she doesn't have much depth besides a female who was traumatized and now dresses sexy. I don't care she's a lesbian I'm bi it doesn't matter to me much. If a character is boring i will state that fact no matter the sexuality. And Mor? Well is fucking boring. But also her as a character. She rules Hewn City in Rhys steed on many occasions, she hates how they treat fae females down there, but has she done anything for them? Because I can't think of one occasion she actually helped one instead of berating them and saying they should be grateful. She treats them the way she was treated but were supposed to feel sorry for Mor? That makes no sense.
Cassian: he is pretty much the angry warrior guy of the group. He's the wild dog on a leash just waiting for his master to let him free (Rhys). He treats his mate like shit on his boot and then wonders why she avoids him like the fucking plague. He verbally and at times physically abuses his own mate but were just supposed to brush that off as him having anger issues? He also had destroyed Summer court and has yet to apologize because he was just "drunk and being stupid". Yeah no you destroyed families homes the least you can fucking do is apologize but instead you just bailed.
Azriel: now I still like him though he is on thin ice. If he hurts my baby Gwyn I will be going into the book and bitch slapping him to next week. But let's talk about his character. The silent and brooding to complement Cassians dumb idiot persona. He is the resident torturer, yes you heard that right the resident torturer. And it is even implied he enjoys the job. He is a traumatized person who out of all the IC actually tries to connect and help others because of what he went through. He is often frowned on because he is a Shadowsinger and an assassin. The Illyrains look down on him because he is a bastard. Like I said I still like him but he still has done horrible things were just supposed to forget about.
And finally
Amren: she was powerful and scary until the end of Wings and Ruin. Now she's just a frail female fae with nothing to offer other than knowledge she hardly remembers because she's "Just that old". She had nothing nothing offer anymore other than being the resident rude bitch of the group. She is worse than Nesta and I love Nesta and her bitchyness. She wants everyone to be afraid of her but she doesn't know how to fight and if she does it's been so long we would have to start the training process all over again. She still treats Feyra like a hindrance even though Feyra is supposedly "High Lady". She is honestly just a grumpy old bitch who wants to be a badass but not put in any work. None of the IC have anything to worry about from her anymore other than maybe she knows of something powerful but from her track record she probably forgot where it is.
My point is so many hate on Nesta because she is a Bitch who doesn't care about anyone but forget the IC are literally filled with that type of character. So it honestly just shows they can't look past hot abs in my opinion.
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Breaking SJM news: a completely new series is (likely) on the way !!
Last night, I came across a veryyyy interesting YouTube video posted by Bloomsbury 4 weeks ago. Although the video was mostly super boring (talking numbers and finances), towards the end, we get this little nugget of information...
[Bloomsbury staff member]: "Regarding the timeline and future Sarah J Maas book releases, which are obviously very important to us... so her next title, which is the third in her Crescent City series, comes out on the 30th of January, 2024. So, that will fall into this financial year."
[Bloomsbury staff member]: "And thereafter, we have SIX further contracted titles -- so continuing this series, and STARTING A NEW SERIES AS WELL."
A new series! This likely goes hand-in-hand with the announcement made by Bloomsbury a couple of months prior, in which they stated that 4 additional SJM books were on the way (but curiously, no further details about these books were given...)
Although we don't know for sure, this is my guess as to what these 6 future SJM books are:
2 x ACOTAR books.
Then the 4 remaining, newly contracted books; the first being the final Crescent City book, House of Many Waters.
Leaving 3 x books for the new series (which makes perfect sense, as when starting a new series, SJM is always contracted for 3 books initially).
The question remains as to what exactly this new series may be. Which leads me to... Twilight of the Gods.
[SJM universe spoilers ahead!]
Back in 2015, SJM started a Pinterest board for 2 new book series that were connected in some way; one was Crescent City, and the other was called Twilight of the Gods.
On her Twitter, SJM also mentioned that she had been working on both for quite a while, and that it was soon time to release them into the world.
Around the same time, a series called 'Twilight of the Gods' was mysteriously added to SJM's official Goodreads catalogue.
'Twilight of the Gods' is another term for Ragnarok; a famed tale of Norse mythology where the Gods and giants/demons across all worlds joined together to fight a giant battle that signified the end of the world.
Thus, I believe that 'Twilight of the Gods' is SJM's next series; it will be a Ragnarok retelling, and all of the characters from TOG, ACOTAR and CC will join together for a cataclysmic battle against the Asteri, the Daglan, and the Valg (because lets not forget that Orcus and Mantyx are still unaccounted for...).
With this in mind, consider the numerous references to Norse mythology that SJM has already scattered throughout her books:
Feyre as Freya: Freya was perhaps one of the most renowned Norse goddesses, and was Queen.
Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn as the Valkyries: An obvious one, but the Valkyries originated from, and had a huge part to play in Norse Mythology (Ragnarok especially).
Lucien as Loki: According to Norse mythology, Loki is often depicted with long, red hair. He is also seen as a God of fire, and is commonly associated with foxes.
Danika (Fendyr) and Fenrys as Fenrir: Fenrir was a renowned monstrous wolf of Norse mythology. Fenrir being 'unleashed' is one of the key events of Ragnarok.
Hunt as Thor ('Thurr'): During Ragnarok, Thor has a famous battle against the 'Midgard Serpent.' Consider the snake that Hunt is holding on the cover of HOSAB.
Midgard: is the 'Earth' world in Norse mythology.
Hel (spelt the same way): Is the 'underworld' of Norse mythology.
Further, if you looked at SJM's "Twilight of the Gods" Pinterest board - before it was deleted - you'd see countless images of (Lady?) Thor, the Valkyries, Sailor Moon, and even the coffin that Maeve locked Aelin in... (that can't be a coincidence, right..?!) Some examples below:
'Twilight' is also another word for 'Dusk'; considering the lost Dusk Court, and 'Dusk's Truth' (both of which are the centre of the upcoming crossover and broader multiversal narrative...) it matches up perfectly.
Thus, I believe that the remaining ACOTAR and CC books will continue to add to the multiverse, bit by bit. And whilst they can still be read in a standalone fashion, my guess is that they will build up to a grand finale (perhaps the very last ACOTAR book will end with Aelin walking through a portal...?) and then Twilight of the Gods will begin.
If you thought Kingdom of Ash was epic... then Twilight of the Gods -- if correct -- is bound to blow us away (and, it might even put SJM's name in the history books).
#sjm multiverse#acotar#crescent city#sjm theory#sjm crossover#bryce quinlan#aelin galythinius#rhysand#feyre#gwyneth berdara#nesta archeron#elain archeron#azriel acotar#cassian acotar
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"Elriel ended in the bonus chapter"
Let's look at this argument logically.
The bonus chapter takes place like 80% of the way into the book, during solstice. Somewhere between chapter 58 & 59 of ACOSF.
Chapter 59: Nesta has a sleepover with Gwyn & Emerie.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c8f20a5d6fa45fb7b5d59b301e29822/22ee57f57e8a08ae-23/s540x810/fad27f7be5f7696ad24479ea2a906c0c64f0f4b8.jpg)
No mention of the necklace around Gwyn's throat. No mention of her even saying she received a necklace - and that's exactly the sort of shit you'd talk about at girls night 🙄
Chapter 60: Gwyn, Emerie, & Nesta cut the ribbon (in that order). Then they pass the BR qualifier. 🥹
There is no romantic interaction between Gwyn & Azriel. Azriel is there when they cut the ribbon, same as Cassian.
Chapter 61: Nesta makes it down the steps 🥹
Again, no romantic interaction between Gwyn & Azriel
Chapter 62: Cassian tells Nesta they're mates 😭
Other than Nesta herself saying having a mate makes her lose her last tie to being human and makes her like them (*cough* something people accuse Elain of struggling with but it's NESTA's trauma too)...
Again, no romantic interaction between Gwyn & Azriel
Chapter 63: The girls get taken to the blood rite
After which, Azriel tells Cassian to focus on getting Eris back instead of going after the girls in the BR.
Then after the BR, there's one brief mention of Az & Cass lecturing the Valkyries on the mistakes made during the BR. Nothing else after that.
Gwyn & Azriel's last interaction is again, a group setting where they still have the trainer/trainees relationship.
So now, let's take a step back and look at this argument of "Elriel ended in the BC bc they don't interact after it, and the BC launched Gwynriel!"
While it is true there are no more Elriel interactions after the BC - again - let's remember the reason for that. Rhys explicitly forbidding Azriel away from Elain. We know why there are no interactions.
Their last interaction ends on a misunderstanding.
Azriel is not happy about the command from Rhys - clearly - given he loses a snowball fight he'd planned for a year and is stone faced at training the next day, not even giving Nesta a smile.
We don't see Elain much after the BC. She's not even mentioned until Nesta comes back to Feyre giving birth.
But does this mean Azriel pursued Gwyn? No. He didn't.
They are both unattached. Sure, I can humor yall and say it "meant something" when Az felt a "spark" at the thought of her joy in the BC - and still - nothing? No follow up?
Nothing about Azriel & Gwyn's interactions was inherently romantic before, during, and after the BC.
There is literally no reason for Azriel to not pursue Gwyn after solstice, if they are allegedly mates. Theres no reason he didn't pursue Gwyn when he met her 2 years ago, way before Elain. The mating bond does not need to snap into place for mates to be drawn to each other 🙄 Theres nothing holding them apart and still he does not change in the way he interacts with her.
I will once again remind people that saying Elriel ended in the bonus chapter does not automatically launch the Gwynriel ship. For Gwynriel to have canon existence, they have to have romantic attraction on the page.
And I'm sorry but "see you tomorrow, Shadowsinger" is not romantic attraction when the entirety of Pythian calls Azriel that. It's not said in a flirty tone by Gwyn, it's said in a flippant, competitive context.
Ok thank you for coming to my TED talk, same time next week, guys?
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A huge reason I can’t see an Azriel and Gwyn book next is there are no obstacles set up between these two characters in ACOSF. Obstacles are needed to create an interesting fantasy romance book. Azriel hasn’t even been set up as a love interest for Gwyn.
With both Feysand and Nessian, we saw conflict set up between these pairings in the books prior to ACOMAF and ACOSF. Obstacles used to craft their love stories. Remember these books are fantasy romance books, heavy on the ROMANCE.
This is a longer post as I’ll be looking at the last scenes between Feysand and Nessian prior to their love stories to compare to the last scenes between Gwynriel, Elucien, and Elriel. Thanks for reading 🫶🏼
For Feysand, we gave the bargain Feyre made with Rhys in ACOTAR. Feyre is in love with the High Lord of Spring, but she is bound to visit the High Lord of Night one week out of the month. Rhys is Tamlin’s enemy and therefore Feyre’s enemy, yet we see Rhys and Feyre develop an understanding between them during their last scene of ACOTAR. There is a level of intrigue between these two characters that makes the reader wonder what will happen between them.
I looked at him finally. His membranous wings were out—tucked behind him—but his hands and feet were normal, no talons in sight. “What do you want?” It didn’t come out with the snap I’d intended. Not as I remembered how he’d fought, again and again, to attack Amarantha, to save me. “Just to say good-bye.” A warm breeze ruffled his hair, brushing tendrils of darkness off his shoulders. “Before your beloved whisks you away forever.” “Not forever,” I said, wiggling my tattooed fingers for him to see. “Don’t you get a week every month?” Those words, thankfully, came out frosty. Rhys smiled slightly, his wings rustling and then settling. “How could I forget?”
There’s a clear chemistry between Feyre and Rhys and we can already see Feyre fighting it in this moment as she struggles to snap at him.
“Well, good-bye for now,” he said, rolling his neck as if we hadn’t been talking about anything important at all. He bowed at the waist, those wings vanishing entirely, and had begun to fade into the nearest shadow when he went rigid. His eyes locked on mine, wide and wild, and his nostrils flared. Shock—pure shock flashed across his features at whatever he saw on my face, and he stumbled back a step. Actually stumbled. “What is—” I began. He disappeared—simply disappeared, not a shadow in sight—into the crisp air.
This last moment between them leaves the reader wondering why Rhys reacted the way he did. It’s clear we will see more of him and that this story isn’t over.
With Nessian, we saw feelings develop between them in ACOWAR. They had a palpable chemistry and were willing to die together. They even kissed and Cassian gave us this beautiful declaration before their book:
Cassian grunted in pain, but lifted his bloodied hands—to cup her face. “I have no regrets in my life, but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.” She didn’t stop him as he leaned up and kissed her—lightly. As much as he could manage. Cassian said softly, brushing away the tear that streaked down her face, “I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.”
Then in ACOFAS we see a strain between them and conflict develop as Nesta deals with the aftermath of the war and her father’s death. They are avoiding each other, but Cassian still reaches out to Nesta at the Solstice party to give her a gift. Nesta continues to push Cassian away and it becomes clear that the obstacle between Nessian is Nesta herself as she deals with her trauma and self loathing.
A void seemed to enter those eyes. An endless, depthless void. She only said, “Go home, Cassian.” He could count on one hand the number of times she’d used his name. Called him anything other than you or that one. She turned away—toward her apartment, her grimy part of the city. It was instinct to lunge for her free hand. Her gloved fingers scraped against his calluses, but he held firm. “Talk to me. Nesta. Tell me—” She ripped her hand out of his grip. Stared him down. A mighty, vengeful queen. He waited, panting, for the verbal lashing to begin. For her to shred him into ribbons. But Nesta only stared at him, her nose crinkling. Stared, then snorted—and walked away. As if he were nothing. As if he weren’t worth her time. The effort. A low-born Illyrian bastard. This time, when she continued onward, Cassian didn’t follow. He watched her until she was a shadow against the darkness—and then she vanished completely. He remained staring after her, that present in his hands.
We as readers can predict this is not the last we’ll see between these two characters. ACOWAR established mutual feelings between them, but they now have conflict to work through if they want to get back to that place.
Now let’s take a look at Gwyn’s last scene with Azriel and see how it compares:
And when Gwyn reached the finish line, bloody and panting and grinning so wildly her teal eyes glowed like a sunlit sea, she only extended her battered hand to Azriel. “Well?” “You already have your prize,” Azriel said simply. “You just passed the Blood Rite Qualifier. Congratulations.” Gwyn gaped. Nesta and Emerie halted. But Gwyn said to him, “That was why you invited them?”
“I wanted them to know. What you’ve accomplished. That even though Valkyries don’t have something akin to the Blood Rite, you’re as trained as any warrior in Illyria.” “The courses?” Gwyn asked. “Different routes,” Azriel said, “from various Qualifiers over the centuries.” Cassian grinned. “Short of partaking in the Blood Rite, you’re now as close to being Illyrian warriors as you can be.”
In this scene, we see Gwyn conquer the obstacle course. Az was called the “new ribbon” because he created this challenge for the Valkyries and Gwyn beat that challenge a couple paragraphs later. They go on to have a normal, group conversation. Nothing about this interaction screams “There’s more to come with these two.” It feels like a nice closing scene between a mentor and his competitive mentee. There’s no romantic intrigue here.
What I do think is special about this scene and chapter in general is that it shows Gwyn’s growth. Gwyn started out apprehensive around Azriel, but this chapter displayed how far she’s come. She’s now able to joke and be at ease around two different males and that is a great feat for her after what she’s been through.
Now let’s look at Elain and Azriel’s last on page interaction:
Elain just linked her arm through Nesta’s and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it. “I was just checking on dessert,” Elain explained as they approached the doorway and Azriel. Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.
A simple moment of Elain leading Nesta to the sitting room is turned into a romantically charged moment because of the chemistry and pull between Elain and Az. It’s so obvious that Nesta can feel the charge. Az is so aware of Elain that he followed the sound of her laughter. Elain’s breathe caught at the encounter. These two character are clearly love interests and have feelings to explore.
This is the last (and only) encounter between Elain and Lucien in ACOSF:
He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.
Lucien is showing interest towards Elain, but Elain continues to be uncomfortable around him. They have been completely stagnant since ACOFAS with no signs of coming together. I don’t think Sarah would have Elain shrinking around Lucien if he was meant to be her love interest in the next book. There needs to be some sign of mutual chemistry or understanding.
What’s also interesting is we have this scene of Nesta and Azriel between Elain’s moments with Az and Lucien:
“Why don’t you sit?” She leaned against the doorway beside the shadowsinger. “My shadows don’t like the flames so much.” A pretty lie. She’d seen Azriel before the fire plenty. But she looked at who sat close to it and knew the answer. “Why did you come if it torments you so much?” “Because Rhys wants me here. It’d hurt him if I didn’t come.” “Well, I think holidays are stupid.” “I don’t.” She arched a brow. He explained, “They pull people together. And bring them joy. They are a time to pause and reflect and gather, and those are never bad things.” Shadows darkened his eyes, full of enough pain that she couldn’t stop herself from touching his shoulder. Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers. Azriel’s face remained neutral.
Both Azriel and Lucien experience pain because of their feelings for Elain. Nesta figured out Azriel’s feelings for her sister and offered him comfort. “His secret to tell, never hers.” This line will absolutely come into play in the next book. Secrets always come out at some point.
Based on these final moments, Elain is the only possible MFC with conflict set up: having feelings for Azriel while being mated to Lucien. Elain is the only female character with a clear romantic interest. Is it possible for Lucien to be the second POV? Yes, but I think it’s unlikely considering the one sided nature of their relationship. There’s so much emphasis on Azriel’s feelings for Elain throughout ACOSF that I think he is the more likely MMC of Elain’s book. Their connection is mutual, just as Feysand’s and Nessian’s were before their love stories and there is intrigue - Will Elain and Azriel finally act on their feelings for each other despite Elain being mated to another?
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WIP Wednesday
Thank you for the tag, @carlos-in-glasses @nisbanisba @heartstringsduet @carlossreaders 💝
This is from my upcoming TK's birthday fic, "The December Baby"
“TK! TK!” Jonah exclaimed, like TK was halfway down the block and not holding Jonah in his arms. “Sit with me!” He hit TK’s shoulders with both hands. “TK! Sit with me! Sit with me TK!”
“Jonah, easy,” Enzo said, reaching over and taking one of his son’s hands. “Jonah Frederick. Soft touches. And what do we say when we want something?”
“Daddy,” Jonah whined.
“Jo-nah,” Enzo said, imitating his son’s tone. “What’s our magic word? Can you show TK and Carlos your good manners?”
“We want to see them,” Carlos added. “We’re very big on manners in Texas”.
Jonah gave the biggest sigh at the utter inconvenience of having to use manners before he started stroking TK’s face. “Pwease!” Jonah exclaimed. “TK sit me with pwease!”
“I would love to sit with you, Jonah,” TK smiled as he opened the back door to the car. “And what good asking that was!”
“TK, you want help with the carseat?” Enzo asked as TK loaded Jonah into the backseat.
“I can figure it out I think” TK grunted. “Which does… ow!” He ducked out of the back seat and moved to let Enzo adjust the straps, shaking his hand with the bright red finger he pinched. “Yeah, I should have let you do it”.
“It’s okay,” Enzo said as he buckled Jonah in. “It’s a learning curve”.
“Let me see that”. Carlos said, taking TK’s right hand and kissing his red thumb.
“Thank you baby,” TK smiled, kissing Carlos’s cheek before he joined his little brother in the backseat of the car.
“TK got owie?” Jonah asked when TK slid in next to him.
“Just a little one,” TK shook his head with a smile. “It’s okay”.
“I make it better?” Jonah asked. TK smiled and scooted close enough so Jonah could kiss his hand. “Jonah, you did it!” TK exclaimed. “Now it doesn’t hurt anymore!”
“Jonah, you keeping an eye on your brother?” Enzo asked as Carlos got in the passenger seat.
“Okay, Daddy,” Jonah nodded, taking this job seriously as he started chattering away to TK.
“Enzo, I gotta say,” Carlos said as they started to make their way out of airport parking, “Jonah talks really well. Both of my sisters have three kids each, and I don’t remember anyone speaking in sentences when they had just turned two”.
“Thank you,” Enzo said, his eyes twinkling over his half-moon glasses. “He's definitely a chatterbox. Truthfully, I can’t take too much credit. The boys’ mother, before she…” He cleared his throat. “When she was still here, right after Jonah was born, and we were shuttling him between our houses. She told me to make sure I was talking to him as much as I could; that it would help his verbal skills develop”.
“Huh”. Carlos nodded. “Was it just baby talk?”
“Not exclusively,” Enzo said as they waited to turn right. “Some of it was, but Gwyn had told me it was most important to be talking directly to him. Which, after we lost her,” he sighed, “was a lot of this shouldn’t have happened, I can’t do this, is there precedent to get delivery bikes banned from the city altogether. But it seems to have paid off,” he added, looking in the rearview mirror, where TK was nodding as Jonah told him a story. “I have him in daycare twice a week now, and whenever I pick him up, the teachers always tell me he’s coming for their job; he always wants to greet and say hi to anyone who comes in the room”.
No pressure tagging - I tag @anewkindofme @laneybishop89 @nancys-braids @kiankiwi @firstprince-history-huh @the-flaming-nightmare @eclectic-sassycoweyes and anyone else who wants to do it - open tag 🫶
#911 lone star#wip wednesday#also -this is not season five's version of enzo#because i really needed enzo to show his kid affection
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happy @sjmromanceweek!
here is my entry for day three: First "I Love You
Under the Egg Moon
A modern Nessian AU ft archaeologist!Nesta and boat captain!Cassian
Read here or on ao3!
CW: explicit consensual sexual content
---
wishcamper lore: when i was a college student (re: lost as fuck, re: no long-term thinking) through a series of random events i ended up on an archaeological dig in Cyprus. much of this fic is inspired by that summer, including a lot of the details of dig life, schedules, antagonistic animals, and how it ping-pongs from utterly boring to genuinely life-changing. and while i was unfortunately too consumed with my shitty boyfriend to hook up with the hot boat captain, fiction has the power to right all wrongs. and now: her.
(See the end of the work for more notes!)
Nesta sends a curse to whatever god made the sun so fucking hot.
She hopes it isn’t the one the ancient peoples of this island once worshiped, because she really needs this dig to be productive. But six weeks in the Cesere summer and all they have to show for it are a few shards of pottery, a blank amulet, and a fuckton of dirt. Not enough to write anything publishable, and nowhere close to what she needs to get funded for another year.
Nesta makes another pass over her three-by-three section, pickax chipping away one centimeter-thick layer of red earth at a time.
The trappings of a productive site are all here—isolated island off the mainland, no way to reach it except by boat. The ruins even abut a protected wildlife area, some ancestral seagull nesting ground, though the birds haven’t gotten the memo about leaving their side of the island alone. Every surreptitious trip into the high grass to use the bathroom becomes a WWII style air raid, feathery Luftwaffe dive-bombing from above.
She sends a curse to them, too.
“Let’s break here,” Nesta pants, and Gwyn nods from where she squints over her theodolite. At least they’ll have a CG map of the building’s visible walls by the end of the summer, if nothing else.
“I can’t tell if my eyes are wobbling or there’s an impeding earthquake.” Gwyn swipes a freckled arm across her forehead.
“It would get us out of explaining this fucking fiasco.”
A sharp pull on the whistle around her neck and a relieved groan echoes across from every corner of the excavation pit. Sweat-soaked students pour the last of their water bottles over their heads before they begin to pack all their equipment into thick black tubs. Nesta makes her way over to their makeshift staging area under a tarp to survey the artifacts from the day: more random shards of pottery, and a rock vaguely shaped like a triangle.
“I thought it looked like an arrowhead,” a sandy-haired boy offers as he hovers behind her. She should really get better with names.
“It’s a rock,” Nesta assures him. “And no one used stone arrows in the era we’re studying, anyway.”
Whatshisname deflates. Then works himself back up again, clearly having practiced whatever speech comes next.
“Dr. Archeron, do you think we could have the day off tomorrow?” he asks.
Nesta feels the expression fall over her face—the one that sends students shuffling from her office mumbling apologies after she makes her stance on grade-grubbing very clear.
“No.”
“It’s just that there’s this concert in Greater Cesere tonight, and we've already figured out the carpool—”
“I don’t care how hungover you are. You’re expected at the dock at 5:45, just like every morning.”
“Yeah. Of course.” His eyes go shifty. “We’ll all be there.”
This is the part of the dig when the less-dedicated get squirrely, when they get tired of instant coffee and dirt in their teeth and lizards in their beds. Nesta knows it’s normal, but she feels the heat rise in her throat, their mission on the edge of a chasm of underfunded failure. It would feel good to tear into him, but there are course evals to think of, after all.
“Go help Dr. Berdara with the surveying equipment,” she grouses instead.
“Yes, Dr. Archeron.”
Whatshisname scurries off. Nesta can’t help but smirking to herself, knowing she’s just given him enough fodder to become the prince of whatever night out they’re about to have, enough sympathy to get laid, even.
As a woman among arrogant Indiana Jones cosplayers, the scary reputation is a necessary evil. As is the horrid plod down the side of the island where their boat awaits, laden with trowels and tarps and empty jugs of water.
The Ceserean Historical Bureau earns the curse for that one.
Everything in, everything out, every day.
What a fucking mess.
But nothing this summer compares to the utter disaster that waves from the bow of the modest motorboat. Every six-foot-four, tanned, tattooed bit of him.
“Find any treasure today?” Cassian asks, as always. Nesta ignores the hand he offers to help her onboard, brushing past to take her usual seat in the back.
She made the mistake the first morning of sitting on the bow of The Windhaven, wanting to be visible among her students, a guidepost. But it put her directly in the line of burning hazel eyes, ones that danced with all of the terrible things Nesta would let him do to her if she gave less of a shit.
She needs to ask Emerie about curse tablets after the next department meeting.
“There’s a legend about this island, you know.” Cassian hops up onto the side of the boat and braces against the center console, students streaming to and fro. “That it used to be the nest of a great bird. One day an egg appeared, only it never hatched. A wave came and swept it into the sky, where it became the moon.”
“Charming. Wish the birds up there now had a bit more reverence.”
“Are you using the trick I taught you?”
She boarded one afternoon with a nick on her ear from not dodging quickly enough. Cassian advised her to hold a metal dustpan over her head. Nesta felt like an idiot the first time, but even she had to admit that it worked.
What didn’t work was how flustered she got when he insisted on cleaning her cut, weathered hands so gentle when they brushed her skin.
“I see.” That idiotic smirk made her cheeks heat. “You are, but you’re mad about it.”
And as the boat bumps through the surf back to shore, Nesta tries to convince herself of anything but that.
After their first week on the dig, she and Gwyn shared a very drunken and giggly night when Nesta confessed her attraction to their roguish captain. It’s been a while since she’s really had her world rocked, and the breakneck pace of the semester left opportunities for dating thin on the ground. Gwyn decided he would manhandle her like the flowing-haired men on the covers of grocery store harlequin romances. They’d laughed and laughed as the bottle of brandy drained, quoting their favorite lines from the days they’d get stoned with Emerie and do dramatic readings to stave off grad school delirium.
His growls of pleasure filled the tent, drowning out the screams of the wounded and dying.
“But Cassian would definitely put those big-ass hands to good use,” Gwyn affirmed. “Respectfully. Like pulling up an anchor.”
What a horrible mistake. Now it’s all Nesta can think about as the big-ass hand in question closes around her upper arm once they disembark, once the students are busy grumbling in the apothiki.
“Go out with me tonight.”
Cassian is smiling crookedly, as if ready to protect his face with a dustpan if this doesn’t go well.
“No,” Nesta answers without thinking. It’s not worth the trouble, especially with her own crew on the verge of mutiny. It's not the first time he's asked, and it won't be the last. Cassian’s smile widens, undeterred.
“Stay in with me, then.”
A huff escapes her, and he’s still holding her arm, somehow hotter than the sun that's driving rivulets of sweat down her back.
“Your students will all be gone, I heard them talking about that show in Greater Cesere.”
Nesta swallows.
“No one has to know.” He’s inches from her now, so tall he casts a shadow over her face. “You should see the things we do in my dreams.”
Fantasies flash through her mind, that strong body pressing her back against a door. Cassian’s full lips on her neck, hands roaming lower.
Wanting, wanting so thick and sharp it almost hurts spears its way through her. The desires Nesta pushes away come roaring back, an angry sea kept at bay by the levees she’s built around her heart. The hard outer shell, the layers of dirt under which she’s buried the very idea of wanting.
It’s an escape for her, rifling through the lives of people long-dead. There are parts of the past she’d like to let go of. Childhood shit, disappointing men. Hurts too unwieldy to even think in words. Her sister Feyre says Nesta is an ice queen, but she feels more like a golem, a being of earth and stone piloted only by what’s expected of her.
Nesta doesn’t get to want this. Can’t stand the idea of it being used against her.
“Ignorance is my only refuge, then.”
His eyebrow quirks, and there’s a scar through it, she notices, a tiny slash where the hair no longer grows. Cassian is looking at her like she’s just revealed something, though she can’t imagine what. A lemon-scented wind blows through the docks, setting the boats to rocking. Setting her heart to galloping.
What a mess.
“See you in the morning, Dr. Archeron,” Cassian says before releasing her, sauntering back toward The Windhaven to prep it for the next day.
After clearing the bathroom of its resident lizards, Nesta spends the next hour letting a cool shower hit her in the face, trying to determine what on earth he’s just discovered.
At dawn, the dock at is deserted.
“Of course. Of fucking course!” Nesta grouses as she throws her hands in the air. “I’m failing all those little shits.”
“Cmon Nes,” Gwyn says blearily, rubbing at her eyes. “We’ve been going nonstop for weeks. They deserve to let off a little steam.”
Good professor showing up again to play her part. Gwyn has always been the more forgiving of the two of them. Nesta rips out the rubber band to redo her braid, hair already frizzing in the humid morning air.
“They can do that at the dig wrap party. At this rate there won’t be anything to celebrate.”
“What are we celebrating?”
As if summoned by her ire, Cassian appears then, swinging his boat keys on a long lanyard. Curly black hair flows down to his shoulders, hips loose in the swagger of a man who’s either been up for hours or never went to bed at all.
Gwyn beams. “The dig party next week! You’re invited! Everyone who’s helped out can come, not just us. We couldn’t have done this without you!”
“Which isn’t saying much. Can we get going?” Nesta says impatiently. “I’d like to get this day over with before I want to kill anyone else.”
Cassian grins and fall into step with Nesta as they trudge toward the storehouse, murmuring, “I thought I was the only one you wanted to kill, sweetheart.”
Nesta has to concentrate hard on the rocky path beneath them, to keep from tripping.
It takes a while to shuttle all the equipment from the apothiki with only three of them, and by the time the mainland starts to recede Nesta is sweaty, grouchy, and already plotting the anti-recommendation letters she’ll write when asked.
She doesn’t want to care this much, to be this hurt. Maybe that’s why she accepts Cassian’s offer to help them disembark after only two refusals. It’s definitely not because his biceps look delicious when he hefts a plastic tub full of Gwyn’s surveying equipment over his head, tanned thighs flexing under faded shorts as he climbs the steep slope.
And how is she supposed to refuse his curious questions after that, when he’s looking around the empty dirt pit like he’s never seen something so interesting? When he picks up a chisel and says, Put me to work, Doc, in that magical, wavy accent, how is she supposed to say no?
Nesta blames her students.
They go to work in the same corner where she was toiling yesterday. Nesta shows him how to read the earth for signs of disturbance, the right pressure to apply to his pickax. He’s a fast learner, thank god, and he tells her about his childhood on the mainland while they sift through layers of nothing, leading to a very unfortunate discovery.
Cassian is funny. And not like the men in Velaris she’s used to who think they’re funny, who took an improv class once and think that qualifies them to muse about taking up stand-up comedy for the next decade. He’s quick, unruffled by the heat and the boredom, perfectly content to narrate their work from the perspective of the seagulls like the two of them are subject of a nature documentary. Nesta thinks the day would be entirely wasted if not for the laughs he pulls from her creaky lungs, the ones no one outside her close friends have heard in years.
It's dangerous, to get so carried away. The earth blurs before her, panic igniting even as she never wants this to stop.
Until she chips away in one spot, and a pinkish shard of pottery emerges.
The piece is strange, disjointed. A seam runs through the middle as if it’s been repaired, three small holes drilled in a triangular pattern. She picks up another piece and finds the same just as Cassian brushes away at a grooved stone, a pair of praying hands etched into the surface.
“That’s the symbol for the Mother.” Bits of information whiz through her brain, snippets of lectures and articles. She’s seen a piece like this before at the National Museum of Velaris, in their room dedicated to the ancient Cesereans.
“It’s a hearthstone.” The kind that only sat in permanent dwellings, the heart of a house. Nesta can’t hold back the tremble in her voice when her eyes connect with Cassian’s and she says, “We’re in the kitchen.”
Excitement crackles.
As if traveling through time, Nesta sees in her imagination how it must’ve risen around them.
And the pottery shard she’s still holding starts to take shape too, the form of a bowl following the curves, layers of time peeling back. And despite what her undergrad Classics professor said, peering into the past is not at all like looking down into a well.
It’s like a hand reaching out and grabbing hers. Thrilling and terrifying, the long stretch of history condensed to a door that’s just been opened.
“Look at this,” she says, tracing the line as Cassian hovers over her shoulder. “It broke, and someone repaired it. Turned it into a strainer.” No visitor would’ve bothered. “Think about the last person who touched this.”
Nesta pictures a woman washing apricots, like the ones candied in sugar she eats from the fruit stall when they get off the dig site every day. Of the mug Emerie bought her on clearance in an airport that says I’m a pretty big deal in the spearfishing community, the one she glued the handle back onto because it makes her laugh so much. She pictures someone digging that mug from the wreckage of Velaris two thousand years from now, holding that mended handle and laughing, too.
Cassian’s eyes are bright when she steals a glance back at him, emotion shimmering.
“I could be related to them.”
“You could.”
He swipes at his face, arm coming away wet. Clears his throat. “Why would someone come all the way out here?”
“That’s the question. It must’ve been significant.”
Her theory is that some ritual activity occurred here, she tells him. Watches a quiet admiration creep across his face as she details her rationale. Whether he understands a word of it or not, she can feel the pull between their bodies, the dusty air charged between them.
“They had lives and feelings,” Nesta finds herself saying. “They wanted things. I think that deserves to be remembered.”
Cassian keeps staring at her in that sun-bright way, and Nesta doesn’t know what they’re talking about anymore. Doesn’t know what to do when he reaches to take her hand, closing his own around it and the pottery shard she still holds.
“Thank you for this.” Gravel lines his voice, and she wants to run it through a sifter to find all the meaning inside. “I’m glad none of your students showed up today.”
“Why, so you can take credit?”
“No. I don’t want to share this with anyone else.” He’s blocking out the glare now, leaving her cool in his shadow. “You make me feel greedy, Nesta.”
A gull cries far-off, but Nesta can only hear the sound of her own heart racing. Cassian tips his head toward the sun and it shines down on his smiling face, warming down through the stone.
It’s only the beginning, more and more pieces unearthed from the ruins of the kitchen over the rest of the morning, a veritable treasure trove. He helps them load everything into apothiki once ashore, whistling as he carries out Nesta’s militant instructions. With an eye on the door for hungover students, Cassian pulls her in with sea-rough hands and kisses her like he wants to do much more.
His mouth tastes like earth.
Nesta doesn’t sleep that night. Instead she catalogs every piece as a high moon rises, a waxing gibbous near to hatching.
The dig wrap party is euphoric, and not just because everyone’s been over-served. There are bigwigs from the Historical Bureau here to marvel over their finds, a whole kitchen’s worth, and the students can see the dollars raining down like the leaves of the cypress trees strung with lights.
It should feel good. Better than this, anyway, because as Nesta nurses her lone glass of wine, she can’t help wondering why the place inside her that should be swollen with pride is empty.
An old feeling, one she’s never been able to make sense of.
“Is your boyfriend here yet?” Gwyn smirks when Nesta shoves at her friend’s shoulder. They don’t have to wait long before a crowd of students forms around one end of the bar, a familiar curly-haired head poking well above the rest.
“Can I steal you?” Cassian says once he finally makes his way over, after extricating himself from a gaggle of doe-eyed undergrads. Nesta feels like she’s swallowed a huge dirt clod, but Gwyn answers for her.
“Of course you can! Nesta hates these things, don’t you, Nes?”
“I do,” Nesta barely manages before his big-ass hand is closing around her own, pulling her out back of the restaurant they’ve rented to a small goat path that leads toward the sea.
The Windhaven bobs in the current, bumping gently against the dock. After many reassurances, Nesta lets him pilot them to a secluded cove, the hull cutting through the black water like a sharpened blade, the past and present dividing.
“The land speaks to you here,” Cassian says when he tosses down the anchor at last, pulling the extra line taut. “I thought you might like to hear what it has to say.”
“Why?”
The wind tugs at the hem of her sundress.
“It’s probably saying thank you. For not letting those people be forgotten.”
He says it so simply, like it’s nothing. Nesta braces her hands against the bow, trying to find some sense in the spaces between the stars.
It’s completely cloudless, and this far out there’s no light pollution, so she can see meteors cascading across the sky like rain. Cassian comes to stand beside her, shoulders brushing.
“Look look, it’s the space station!” he says after a moment, tracking a finger across the sky before he raises a hand and waves. Nesta snorts.
“You know there’s no way the astronauts can see you.”
“I know,” Cassian says, shrugging, and god she wants to kiss him. “But just in case, I don’t want to leave them hanging.”
“Who the fuck are you?” Nesta asks, more harshly than she means to. His answering smile is nervous, tight.
“Cassian.”
“No, I mean—never mind. It doesn't matter.”
It’s a very early mid-life crisis. It must be. Why else should she be so fixated on the way this weird-ass man’s mind works, how he seems to find wonder in the smallest things? And why is she jealous?
This is a mistake, undoubtedly. Nesta has ground herself down to the bone to get where she is. Fought her way through school, through the sludge of academia, been called difficult and prickly and a bitch in her quest to be taken seriously. Worn every label as a badge of bloody honor. Suffocated the part of her that just wants to let go and say fuck it all, to do something she wants instead of what she has to.
"Doesn't it?"
Cassian is backlit by the half moon glinting off the water, stray curls springing free from the bun atop his head.
And then he’s kissing her, and his mouth tastes like lemon and something else, something addictive. It’s the brandy sours that are as bizarre as they are popular here, that Nesta now doesn’t know how she’s gone so long without. Her fingers skate down skin so warm, like it’s drunk in the sunlight and trapped it inside him.
“Nes,” he breathes once they finally part, and she digs her nails into his shoulders, drawing a sharp inhale.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Yes, Dr. Archeron.”
Exhaustion collides with her better judgment, and Nesta pushes him back to sit on the bow, swings a leg over his hips so she’s straddling his lap. Plunges her hands into all that lush, dark hair, and says, “Fuck it.”
It all flows from somewhere deep within her, the brush of hands against skin, lips against lips. She stays so locked away, never allowed to feel the good things she works so hard to achieve. Locked up, locked out, looking into everything that feels like it should belong to her but she can never reach.
Nesta doesn’t know why this is the moment everything shifts for her, and even when she looks back years later it’ll never quite make sense. The alchemy of the island breeze, the deep black night between the stars, all greater than the sum of its parts.
And she lets herself have it. Each wicked, wild bit of her comes out of their dark corners and she’s laughing, head tipped back in euphoria and who the fuck cares that she has no idea where her bra is, whether or not she’ll get tenure. It doesn’t fucking matter. There’s value in being stupid, she thinks, wondering why she’s tried all this time to be so smart.
“You look like you’re swimming in a sea of stars,” Cassian says, looking up at her. Nesta smiles when he tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, fingers of his other hand tangling with hers.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you as a poet.”
The half moon hangs above them, cracked open.
“Every man can be a poet with the right inspiration.”
His hands are on her breasts then, pinching and squeezing, and she doesn’t have to force the moans that travel up her throat. They sound different like this, when they’re not for show.
It’s a kind of madness, being touched by Cassian. Like he’s weaving some spell through every cell in her body, enchanting them all to crave him, to want more more more even as she can barely take it.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he insists between nips at her throat, the sensitive spot behind her ear.
“No, but I’m feeling good about myself tonight so I’ll guess it was the first time you saw me.”
He laughs against her chest, hands squeezing her hips. “Close. It was the first time I watched you walk away.” Cassian squeezes her hips again for emphasis, roaming down to grab a handful of her ass.
“I should’ve left you on the island.”
“Good. Then you’d have to come back for me.”
Of course he has a condom in the boat’s center console, and he grins when she rolls her eyes.
“Sailors have to be prepared, I suppose?”
“I’m a poet, not a saint, sweetheart.”
The boat rocks them both as she sinks down onto his lap again. All velvety, warm softness in the night air, the breeze dancing, swirling upward, igniting.
They both want to go slow, want to savor it, but their discipline is beginning to tire. Nesta can’t help picking up her pace, fissures of pleasure splitting her apart. She tells herself there will be time to indulge later, hoping it’s not a lie.
It’s not.
Students trickle out over the next few days, flights home or to other far-flung destinations to decompress before fall semester. Nesta pushes her flight back once, and then again. It’s hard to remember why she wants to go back, when everything she’s been looking for is right here.
They swim in grottos, pick lemons from the tree outside his door and spritz them over fresh-caught fish, in the brandy sours she’s finally perfected. One night he licks the juice off her finger before hoisting her onto the counter, going to his knees between her spread thighs a moment later, his favorite place to be.
“I’ll visit you,” Cassian promises against her skin when they’re splayed out in his bed later, her temporary home the last two weeks. “I’ll do whatever it takes so this doesn’t end here.”
I love you, Nesta thinks as they stand outside his car at the Arrivals gate. Doesn’t say it, because this isn’t a fucking Hallmark movie. You haven’t been able to see someone off inside the airport in twenty years. No one is running past families and old ladies and men with briefcases, but they still kiss just as desperately amidst the smell of gasoline from idling cars, the unrelenting eye of the midday sun.
I love you.
She’s not ready to unearth it yet. It sits quietly beneath to soil of her mind, waiting to be dug up.
But the shape of the thought must reach him, for when he pulls back, Cassian smiles like he already knows.
Nesta smiles too, in case whoever’s strainer is packed in her carry-on can feel it travel down her arm through the handle, in case the astronauts are up there somewhere in the blue, smiling back.
Notes:
History fun facts: the amulet mentioned in the beginning is not always what we typically think of as a talisman or protective charm. some amulets during the Ptolemaic period served more like seals or signatures, where a carving would be done in the bottom of a small stone block. The amulet could then be dipped in ink and stamped on contracts, letters, and bills of sale. Many amulets have been found with holes drilled through the top, suggesting they may have been worn on strings around the neck or on a belt. Very helpful for lay people who didn’t know how to write. I also chose Cesere as the fictional location as a nod to the actual dig site I worked on, which was a temple of Apollo commissioned by Cleopatra. She commissioned a number of them across Cyprus to commemorate the birth of her son, Caesarion, whose father of course was Julius Caesar. Historical record tells us these temples were places where young boys (age 3-4) would go for the first time to spend the night away from their mothers. There they would engage in various rituals and ceremonies to symbolize their transition, kind of like Boy Scout camp. During the dig I found a blank amulet, which suggests people could’ve been carving them on the island, perhaps a token of the boys’ entry into the next phase of life. Caesarion himself was named co-ruler of the Egypt by Cleopatra in 44BC, at the age of 3. He unfortunately only lived to the age of 16/17, when he was captured by Julius Caesar’s successor, Octavion, in Alexandria (Caesar had already burned the library by this point). Upon Caesarion’s capture, Octavion is purported to have said “"Too many Caesars is not good”, a play on the famous Homeric idiom “too may rulers is not good”, aka too many cooks in the kitchen. After conquering Alexandria, Octavion likely had Caesarion executed to avoid challenges to his status as emperor, ending the once-powerful Ptolemaic dynasty and officially absorbing Egypt into the Roman Empire. Finally, the mug Nesta mentions is based on a real-life mug I thought of the first time I pulled a piece of Cypriot sigillata out of the ground. Only mine was a 2008 Sarah Palin mug my dad found at the airport in Anchorage. Yes, I still have it.
#nessian#sjmromanceweek#sjmromanceweek2025#day three: first i love you#modern au#modern nessian#nesta x cassian
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